Last year, as we were all preparing to welcome in 2020, l gave a talk to our church group on the subject of accepting change.

I told my audience I had been feeling compelled for months to talk to them about accepting change, because it’s something most of us find hard to do.

“As we swing into 2020 I have a strong feeling we will all have to deal with significant change,” I said at the beginning of my talk.

Little did I know how true that would be.

As the year began most of us had never heard of COVID-19. The thought of a worldwide pandemic seemed like bad science fiction.

Back then, in what now seems like an old script from the TV show “Happy Days,” we were able to believe we had some semblance of control over our lives.

As the year went on, even the most well-adjusted person found it hard to accept how much control we were losing over everyday life.

As a people person, I thrive on being with others. It hurt when I had to give up socializing with friends. But I accepted it in the name of “staying safe.”

While that was hard, the hardest part of “being safe” was giving up being with family for Thanksgiving and Christmas.

I was surprised when my grandchildren were the ones to say they were not going home for the holidays because they were worried they might bring the virus home to their parents.

Eventually, I became like that pop-up toy that pops back up whenever it is pushed over.

Deep inside me I have a resilience that kicks in and I pop back up from adversity with more determination.

My determination during the last month of this awful year was that I wasn’t going to allow anything to steal my joy.

Yes, life is harder than before the pandemic. But each day is still a wondrous gift.

While we can’t control changes the pandemic brought to our lives, we can control our own actions that help us keep our joy.

Through much prayer and refocusing, I found joy in every day. At first, it was only what I call snatches of joy.

One day while I went for my morning walk, my mind was filled with sorrow over not being with my family for Christmas. When I walked by a tree with a long-dead branch, sitting on that branch was a little bird singing its heart out.

I stayed still for the longest time while I watched that little bird singing with such determination. The branch on which it was perched was dead and the tree itself was rotting away.

Yet the bird chose that branch for its song of joy. It was a lesson for me.

Laughter tumbled out of me. Then there it was - snatches of joy.

I found other ways to bring me joy. Little things, to be sure.

I put up a Christmas tree this year with more deliberation to make it pleasing to my eye. A few meaningful old decorations were added to my teal and silver themed tree.

My husband, who normally isn’t into our surroundings, says the tree brings him joy each night when he plugs it in.

I also find joy in the sparkling solar lights I added to my garden. I stopped saying “I’m not going to spend the money” and focused instead on how happy those lights make me.

In the same vein, I find joy in Christmas music. This year, more than ever, I am appreciating those old, beautiful hymns. My friend Lenny made me the best CD with wonderful renditions of favorite Christmas songs.

And the Mannheim Steamroller rendition of “Silent Night” is so beautiful it brings tears to my eyes.

I also found one way to feed my happiness is to control what I don’t do.

I no longer turn on the so-called news shows that make me feel bad about things over which I have no control.

With a lot of effort I learned not to worry about things over which I have no control. If I can do something about an awful situation, I’ll do it. If not, I have learned the age-old trick of letting go. I admit learning to let go didn’t come easy.

That’s difficult to do, especially for people who try to be problem solvers.

Yet, letting go of things you can’t control is definitely a soothing balm for your mind and spirits.

When a very good friend of mine called me this week he was so despondent I almost didn’t recognize his voice. He was raging about people who refuse to wear masks, putting others at risk.

I told him he can only control his own behavior. Trying to control others is making him physically ill. Yet his rages won’t move one unmasked person to change.

I find it easier to feel joy now that the COVID-19 vaccine is becoming available.

As one very troubled year ends, I am grateful for renewed hope.

In bowling, when one is having a difficult time getting strikes and spares, bowlers sometimes draw a fence on the score pad to indicate “That’s it. On to a better score.”

May we all be on top of our game for the new year as we usher in a fresh start.

Contact Pattie Mihalik at newsgirl@comcast.net.