By Pattie Mihalik

I’m what they call a “foodie.”

When I’m not eating food, I’m cooking it or thinking about what I’m going to make next.

When I’m having a stressful day, I head into the kitchen and rattle some pots and pans as I get creative with food.

I have two favorite ways of relaxing - writing a column or creating a meal.

My family never regarded food as just something to eat. It was definitely the way we showed love and caring. And sitting down at the table together was never just about food.

It was the way we bonded.

It wasn’t just holiday meals that were special. Every single meal was special and festive. If you ever heard the noise level at one of our family meals you would know what I mean. There was a lot of talking, a lot of sharing and much laughter.

Once, when I learned a classmate missed having homemade meals because his parents had passed away I brought him to my mother’s house for dinner.

When he left he said, “That wasn’t about food. It was about love and acceptance.”

Growing up in our family, we never ate and ran. The food was always delicious but it wasn’t what we liked best.

The best part of a meal was always afterward. We lingered at the table over a cup of coffee or tea and talked about what was going on in our life.

Not everyone appreciated our family’s version of the dinner hour. When our daughter bought a guy home for a holiday meal he left the table to watch cartoons because he said there was “too much noise.”

“At our house, we don’t talk when we eat,” he said.

Well, in our house eating together is a form of communion, bonding us together as a family.

I come from a long line of good cooks. When we got together for our frequent family reunions, it was always a feast - a love fest with plenty of good food.

Everyone seemed to have a specialty. That included my grandmother’s homemade spaghetti, chicken cutlets for Aunt Rose, Italian wedding soup for Aunt Marg, homemade cake for Aunt Theresa, pierogies for Aunt Mary and stuffed eggplant for my mother.

When I got married I wasn’t much of a cook because at home my mother insisted on doing all the cooking.

Fortunately, shortly after our wedding my husband left for graduate school over the summer, coming home only for weekends. That gave me all week to plan a meal. Back then, I struggled to get everything on the table at the same time.

Yet I always enjoyed trying new recipes. Like others in my family I made serving good food my love language.

My friends liked to visit on Thursdays because they knew that was the day I tried new recipes from The Philadelphia Inquirer food section.

Fifty years later I still enjoy trying new recipes. Several times a week I do a recipe search on the internet and cook something interesting I’ve never made before.

It’s at the point where I experiment so much that I seldom make my old favorite recipes. That becomes a problem when I’m cooking for company because I never know how a recipe will work out.

For me, the hardest part of cooking is deciding what to make.

My mother was smart in always making her old standby recipes, guaranteeing us a superb meal every time.

Fortunately my husband is game to try anything and is always complimentary, even when a new recipe has disappointing results. One thing I’ve noticed is that my cooking style changes with the passing years, depending on circumstances.

My late husband was a “meat and potatoes” guy, so that’s what I made most of the time. After he passed away I never made another pot roast or meat and gravy meal.

Actually for a few years I made far too many Lean Cuisine dinners when I was just cooking for me.

But every so often I would invite my friends in for my version of Italian night. It’s only fun to do that when I’m cooking for other people.

I used to be an “only from scratch” baker and cook, following my mother’s example. But as I got older I eliminated long, complicated meals.

Age and circumstances definitely change the way many of us approach meal preparation.

Now, I shun my complicated recipes in favor of casserole “dump” meals without a long list of ingredients.

A recipe that says “only five ingredients” turns me on. Then I add my own attempt at creativity. That usually means I sneak in more vegetables.

The other day I was delighted when I found an old recipe book that included recipes I saved from readers. It was like meeting friends I haven’t seen for a long time.

When I see those old recipes I realize how much cooking has changed for many of us.

We all want healthy meals that don’t take all day to prepare. That probably accounts for the popularity of instant pots and air fryers.

My favorite cooking gadget is still the good old slow cooker. Nothing beats being out all day yet coming home to the tantalizing aroma of home cooking.

The day might come when I no longer enjoy cooking, but for now, pleasing others with food is still my love language.

Contact Pattie Mihalik at newsgirl@comcast.net.