By Pattie Mihalik

We all know how the decisions we make have a major impact on so much of our lives.

The way we live our life, how happy we are and our standard of living are just some of ways our decisions impact us. A decision we make can continue to influence our life decades later.

No surprise there.

But did you ever think about the way decisions others make can also have a major impact on us?

I’ve always been aware that whom we marry plays a significant role in how happy we are.

I also realize the decision our children make about marriage also impacts us throughout life.

More than a quarter of a century ago my daughter Andrea sat in our living room with big news. She was going to marry Greg, the fellow she met a year or two earlier at an Eddie Adams Photography workshop.

Andrea is a smart cookie and usually makes sound decisions. As I listened to her talk about the reasons why she was marrying Greg, it sounded like this was another good decision.

Although Greg is tall and good looking, it wasn’t his physical attributes that won her heart. Instead, she said she was attracted to him from the start because he was extraordinarily kind and caring. “He’s a good person in all circumstances,” she said.

That brought to mind my own reaction decades ago when Andy and I decided to get married. I was 22 and he was 25 and neither of us was looking to get married - until we met each other.

My family doctor, a close friend as well as a gifted physician, asked why I wanted to marry Andy.

When I said it was because of Andy’s innate goodness, sharp mind and good heart, the doctor said he was happy I wasn’t picking someone for superficial reasons.

I felt the same way when Andrea told us why she loved Greg.

When I met him I saw how his Midwestern upbringing seemed to give him solid family values. I knew he would make a good husband for Andrea.

But there was so much I didn’t know about how he would positively impact our entire family. Nor did I know how his family would become a wonderful part of our extended family.

Because we lived in Pennsylvania and they lived in Michigan, we didn’t get to know his parents until the wedding. At the time, Andy had just had his second stroke and third bout with cancer. We worried how he would make it through the wedding festivities.

Greg’s parents played a big role in making it easier for Andy to get around.

We all got along so well that our extended family on both sides vacationed together every year at the Outer Banks of North Carolina. We shared years of happy times together, including when we all went to Utah for the Slam Dance Film Festival where Greg’s documentary, “Song Sung Blue,” premiered.

The day before his film was scheduled to be shown, Greg was told he couldn’t show it because there was a problem clearing rights to the music. I was amazed at how outwardly unflappable Greg remained, staying up at night to rewrite the documentary and search for solutions. I never saw anyone stay so positively focused though such punch-in-the-gut circumstances.

In the end, it had a happy ending that I’ll tell you about in a future column. The inspirational story is worth sharing.

Through more than two decades I knew how fortunate we were that both families truly enjoyed each other’s company. In my mind I often bless Andrea and Greg for creating Hallmark-like holidays where both sides of the family were all together all week.

It doesn’t always work out like that. Sometimes, the exact opposite is true.

My friend Nancy was a single mother who worked hard to give her son a good life. She often said she was thankful she and her son always had such a good relationship.

When her son married a woman from a distant state and moved there, that changed.

She said they never had a falling out but her son’s wife centered their life only on her family, giving Nancy no visits. No calls. No contact. Sadly, her son allowed it to happen.

I don’t understand it because the more we open our heart to let others in, the more everyone benefits.

I often find myself saying a fervent thank you to God for bringing Greg and his family into my life. And it all started with a relationship decision I had no part in making.

There’s a game at some amusement parks where you put some coins in the machine then move the shovel around until you grip your “prize.” When you put your money in the machine you never know what you will get. Perhaps it will be something you don’t want, or, you may luck out and get a goodie.

It strikes me that so much of life is like that. We make choices, hoping we get something we like.

But even when we are not part of the decision making, we can reap such nice rewards from decisions others make.

Reflecting on your own life, are there times when a decision made by others impacted your life in a positive way?

Contact Pattie Mihalik at newsgirl@comcast.net.