Where we live: Moving forward
There is so much that can cause a person to mentally shut down.
There comes a point in even the most self-aware person where it simply becomes easier to deny that there is any internal change that needs to occur than to deal with whatever it is head-on.
When people feel betrayed, rejected, obligated and hurt, they develop unhealthy coping mechanisms.
Perhaps they opt to get angry rather than communicate or maybe they kill off a part of themselves because that’s what they felt needed to be done.
Emotions are powerful enough to make us self-destructive, but what I have come to learn this summer is that I’m too important to myself to allow that to continue.
We all have something eating at us, chipping away at who we are until we have the courage to stop it.
I hear a lot of people talk about the things they have done and how wonderful of a person they are but their actions presently do not align with what they say even if at one point in the past, it may have been true.
It’s important to remember that people are in a constant state of change and sometimes, even if we don’t mean it to happen, we change for the worst.
People tend to blame others and even themselves for all that went wrong. I would implore you to think about it differently.
As far as you may have strayed from who you want to be as a person, there were reasons it happened. If it was a toxic friend that hurt you, remember the good that friend brought into your life in the first place.
If it was a relationship that ended badly, remember that it was once beautiful.
The real issue isn’t that these things fall apart but rather how we go about coping with them.
If we remember that there is no effect without a cause, I think we’d live in a more understanding world. We’d have the courage to understand ourselves and extend the same compassion to others.
Changing for the worst happens to all of us at some point - but no matter what happened, the present is always standing by, waiting to be acknowledged.
The best version of yourself is still there, waiting to be found again.
Maria Rehrig can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org