By Pattie Mihalik

I wonder how many of us realize that wherever we go we all carry two invisible things — a weapon and soothing balm.

We can use either or neither. But whatever our choice, I wonder if we are aware of the implications of that choice.

The invisible weapon I’m referring to is the power of words to hurt or maim.

The soothing balm is also the power of words — but in this case it’s the power to help, encourage or make someone feel better in some way.

Here’s what brought all this up.

I have a young friend who is such a delightfully gentle soul. Perhaps in some ways he’s too gentle-natured for what can get dished out in everyday life.

Quiet and introverted, he most likes to sit in a beautiful setting observing nature. He often bikes to an area nature preserve and just sits there watching the bees, butterflies, birds and wildlife.

Last week as he sat eating his sandwich in the picnic area of the nature preserve, a mother and her two sons same to sit at another table.

Shortly, without warning or provocation of any kind, one of the boys brought out a big pellet gun and fired a shot right at my friend’s face.

He yelled from pain and yelled at the mother, who watched it all without disciplining her son.

He couldn’t believe a mother could condone such blatant, dangerous behavior on the part of her son. Nor could he believe the kid just kept looking at him and smirking.

Here’s where the story gets weird. The mother used her cellphone to call the police, saying there was a guy in the picnic area causing a disturbance. Within minutes a police officer arrived and walked over to the woman to hear her version of how my friend “was acting crazy for no reason.” By then the boy had hidden the gun.

The police officer wasn’t interested in my friend’s version of what happened. He told him to leave the preserve and not come back.

The boy in question didn’t suffer any consequences from using a weapon. Nor did his mother.

Her weapon was verbal, but it found its mark. My friend is denied any more peaceful days at his favorite park.

“I think I should just stay away from people,” he said. Knowing his reclusive nature, he will probably try to do exactly that.

Another instance that comes to mind for me was the story of a guy’s attempt to return to church for the first time in decades.

He told me he left the church as a young man and never thought about going back until he made a trip to Eastern Europe. When he saw how village people walked for miles just to attend church, their devotion touched him.

When he got back to his hometown, he was motivated to go back to the church he once attended. He went early and took a seat near the front.

He was startled when a woman tapped him on the shoulder, telling him he had to move because he was in her seat.

So he moved — he moved right out the door and never went back.

The woman who forced him to move more than likely has no idea she fired a weapon of destruction — hurting someone in the process.

I had a similar experience when a choir director told me not to sing in church because my voice was throwing off the choir. “You can’t carry a tune,” she said.

I didn’t know I couldn’t sing until she confronted me. I thought I could sing fairly well because when I was young I won first place singing a funny song in a community talent contest.

I’m normally a very secure person, but that unpleasant encounter with the choir director ended my singing. Ever since she said I “couldn’t carry a tune” I stopped singing in front of people.

Karaoke is really popular in our community, and about 20 of my friends and neighbors have fun singing. Some have great voices; others just have fun singing. I have fun watching, but I won’t sing.

Although I don’t want to be, I’m still affected by one woman’s thoughtless comment. Then we have those remarkable folks who do the opposite — they use their words as a way to encourage and support others.

They have a knack for being able to say just the right thing at the right time.

My friend Fran is like that. She can galvanize people in positive ways.

When I mentioned one particular group was falling apart, Fran said, “Don’t just talk about it. Do something about it. If you see a problem, fix it. You have the ability. Use it,” she said. So I did.

I try to be the person who uses soothing balm. And I’m often rewarded with seeing how effective sincere words of praise can be.

When one friend suffering from depression told me she never makes any progress in helping herself, I reminded her of all the successes she has had.

“Oh, I didn’t realize that,” she said. “Thanks for pointing it out.”

Each of us has our own examples of being able to encourage or help others through our words.

We can use words to help or to hurt. The important thing is to realize the power of our words.

Contact Pattie Mihalik at newsgirl@comcast.net.