By Pattie Mihalik

Last week I had a good time at an outdoor social listening to music with friends. All of the songs were those we grew up listening to, so they kindled a lot of memories.

They didn’t play “Another One Bites the Dust” that night, but it was the song I had running through my head.

That’s because I was stunned earlier that night when I learned friends of ours were getting a divorce.

Divorce is so common nowadays that one seldom gets stunned hearing about a couple calling it splits.

Two things made it a jarring surprise. The first is that in the past two weeks they were the third couple we know who said they were divorcing.

But most of all, all three couples seemed like the least likely to split up, especially Bob and Lisa.

Please know I am protecting their identity by not using their real names or giving their private details.

What was surprising about Bob and Lisa’s divorce is that a mere three months ago I had written a story about them after Bob had won several national awards.

During that interview Bob kept giving credit to his wife for his accomplishments.

“It’s her love for me and her untiring support that allowed me the time involved in winning those awards,” he said.

He specifically told about dragging himself home late at night long after their normal dinner hour.

“But there she was, waiting for me with a hot dinner, eager to hear about my day,” he said. She’s the most supportive person I ever met,” he said.

I was surprised when he told me it was his second marriage, but he never had someone love him like Lisa does.

They did everything together, and they seemed to have a solid relationship. Yet, three months after the interview, he had filed for divorce and had sold their home. All done.

No wonder we were all stunned.

The second surprising divorce was that of my friends Carol and Chuck. A lot of us commented that we were in awe of the way he continues to worship her.

No one ever knows what goes on in the privacy of someone’s home. But I’ll tell you this: I often heard women say they wish they had an affectionate husband like Chuck.

Obviously something turned his wife off, because she publicly announced on Facebook that she was divorcing Chuck and had already reverted to using her maiden name.

Then there’s sweet Susan and Wayne, who were planning something special for their upcoming 50th wedding anniversary. Instead, Susan said she was divorcing him.

Sorry, but I have to again use the word stunned. Who gets divorced in their 70s after being married for 50 years?

Her reason: She said he didn’t respect her and she was tired of being put down.

Well, there is good news when it comes to that couple. He went away to Canada for three months while she stayed here. When he came back, Susan said he was a different man. She even added that their marriage is now better than ever.

All three of those couples had me questioning whether there is such a thing today as a lasting marriage.

While I was thinking about that, our church announced it was honoring couples married for 25 or 50 years. We have a big church, but I wasn’t expecting to see that the entire side of the church was filled with long-lasting couples celebrating their marriages.

Several couples were married for 70 years. So I guess some marriages do last.

What makes the difference between a marriage that fails or one that thrives?

One of the 70th anniversary couples had a great answer.

“True love isn’t an emotion,” she said. “It’s a decision — a commitment to stay together through thick and thin.”

When their only child was killed, the grief they experienced pulled them apart instead of uniting them.

“Things were bad. Really bad and he wanted a divorce. I said we married for life and I would never agree to a divorce,” the wife said.

Since there they were, in church celebrating their 70th anniversary and renewing their vows, it’s obvious they worked it out.

There isn’t a married couple that will dispute marriage is hard work.

Every marriage hits dry spots where the love that bound them together seems to have dried up.

Every marriage occasionally hits rough parts, too.

I’m fond of saying a marriage is like the tide that rolls in and out.

Sometimes the tide brings rough waters. But wait it out, the sun will shine and the tide will turn tranquil again.

Sitting in front of the ocean always makes me think of analogies to everyday life.

If you spent time at the beach, I’m sure you noticed how the tides change the shoreline. A storm can cause waves that battle the beach, eroding the sand into half of what it was before.

It takes a change of direction for the sand to build up again. But it happens. Again and again.

I’m so happy that the marriage of Susan and Wayne survived the rough waters that had threatened it.

We are all giving nonjudgmental support to our divorcing friends. Change is always difficult, especially with major lifestyle changes brought about by divorce.

All we can do is to offer support as they walk new paths.

Contact Pattie Mihalik at newsgirl@comcast.net.