No doubt there are some people out there who can relate to this situation. Although I see it so often, and hear the stories, my feelings of isolation are real, and I often feel very alone.

I am 64 years old, transitioning into my retirement years by working part-time and leaving the stress and hassle of full-time work behind. But those retirement years that lie ahead of me don’t look the way I thought they might.

Five years ago, my mother, now 86 years old, moved in with me. At the time, she was living alone in her own home three hours away from me in New Jersey. For awhile, after my stepfather passed, she was fine there. She was still driving, running her own errands, attending church.

But slowly she began to slow down, became unsafe behind the wheel, and finally, after a bad fall, it was clear that something had to change. I would make the three-hour one-way trip to spend my weekends with her, running the errands, doing the banking, cooking and other household chores she could no longer handle alone. She had a helper come in during the week to do bathing, laundry and some light cleaning.

This went on for about two years. We tried to get her to sell the house, but as is often the case, she resisted, not wanting to “give up her independence.” It was hard for me to understand just what independence she was giving up, since someone else was doing everything for her. But in the end it was decided, with her consent, to sell the house and have her move in with me.

I have siblings, both out of state. But it was never discussed with whom she would live. It was assumed that I, being the oldest, would take on the responsibility. Although I still work part time, which gets me out of the house a few hours a week and is something I very much enjoy, my “free” time is not my own.

My weekends and afternoons are spent looking after her needs, her doctor appointments, making sure dinner is on the table at a certain time.

Lunch with friends? Time to pursue a hobby? Not much of that on my calendar. Every decision I make, every meal I plan, even a trip to the grocery store is planned around her needs. Doctor visits are scheduled for my “off” time.

Even a new car purchase was about her: is it low enough for her to be able to get in? Will the wheelchair fit in the back?

I am very blessed to have a woman who comes in to stay with her while I am at work. She is a huge help to me — but this comes at a price. And it’s not cheap! However, I couldn’t do it without her. She gives me the only real time I have to get out of the house, even if it is to go to my job. There is no such thing as privacy for me at home.

I often think that caring for an elderly parent is more difficult than raising children.

I was the single mother of three amazing kids, now parents themselves. Of course, I was a lot younger then!

I often feel overwhelmed, isolated, alone. Siblings and other family members seem quite content to have me shoulder this on my own.

But the flip side of this situation is this: they are missing out on so much. Stories and other things she remembers from her own childhood, and stories of my beloved grandparents.

She can be very funny! We share a love of books, and watch “Jeopardy” together every evening.

When I’ve got a problem, she gives me her opinion, and quite often, some very good advice. My siblings won’t have these memories.

In the end, caring for a parent or other loved one in their “golden years” is not a burden — it’s a blessing. It comes with many rewards along with the hardships.

So, if you know someone who is a caregiver — give them a hug. Chances are they could use it.

Lyn Summers cares for her mother in Lehighton.