Dear Editor,

Today I placed my pistol on the table right next to my front door. I left the clip beside it, then left it alone and went about my business. While I was gone, the mailman delivered my mail, the neighbor’s son across the street mowed the yard, a girl walked her dog down the street, and quite a few cars stopped at the stop sign near my house.

After about an hour, I checked on the gun. It was quietly sitting there where I had left it. It had not moved itself outside. It had not killed anyone, even with the numerous opportunities it had to do that. In fact, it had not even loaded itself. Well, you can imagine my surprise, with all the hype about how dangerous guns are and how “they” kill people.

Either the media is wrong, or I’m in possession of the laziest gun in the world!

Well, I’m off to check on my spoons. I hear they’re making people fat!

Richard Gross

Lehighton