By pattie mihalik

Last week I was absolutely enchanted as I stood in line at a checkout counter watching the baby in front of me.

She looked to be only a few months old, but the bright-eyed beauty was already good at stealing hearts.

What got my attention was the way she beamed a smile my way whenever she saw me looking at her.

When we were leaving the store I watched a little boy and his grandfather have fun doing absolutely nothing except holding hands while walking through the parking lot.

The little boy alternately giggled and beamed at his grandfather.

What is it about babies and young children that make them so bright-eyed and happy, so eager to smile at strangers?

Whatever it is, I love it. I wish it were something that didn’t disappear with the passing years.

But think about this. As we get older, do we still smile at strangers? For that matter, do we still smile and chuckle with the joy of life?

Do you?

I’m basically a happy person and I think I smile a lot. But not nearly as much as when I was younger. And sometimes I get caught up too easily in a simple problem, letting that consternation take over my smiles.

I must say that I’m getting better at controlling the things I can control and letting the rest go. Or, at least I’m trying to get better at it.

When there’s nothing you can do about something, why stew over it?

One day in church our charismatic pastor told his congregation he had a way to make each and every one of us happier, if we listened.

We all perked up and paid attention waiting for his magical formula. This was it:

Stop worrying about other people. Stop saying someone “should” be this or “shouldn’t” do that.

In other words, stop trying to change people. The only person you can control or change is yourself. So back off and give the rest up and you’ll be happier.

I do find it works — when I remember to back off.

An old expression that stays with me is this: Never try to teach a pig to sing because it will never happen and you’ll just annoy the pig.

I guess that’s another way of saying we can’t change anyone else.

I’m amazed at how much happier I am when I remember it’s not my role to try to change anyone. I’m sure my husband is happier too.

Remember that show, “I Love You, You’re Perfect, Now Change?” I laughed a lot during that show. And of course I sat there saying, “I would never do that.”

But most couples that have been together for a long time do it in one degree or another. When we are going together, we love every single thing about our loved one. We can’t think of a single thing we would change.

But as the years go by, we find things we want to change. I like it best when I remember I only have the power to change myself.

I smile more and laugh more when I remember to lighten up, realizing that the world isn’t waiting for my words of wisdom.

Last week I went to a talk by a renowned local speaker who had the power to uplift all of us in the audience.

One thing she asked us to contemplate was how often we smile and laugh. “If you truly value life as you say you do, your face and your entire bearing should reflect your joy,” she said.

Then she challenges us with her question: “Does it?”

That’s when I thought about those wonderful babies and their contagious smiles.

It’s also when I decided to make an effort to give more smiles away. I’m always upbeat when I’m with friends so I probably smile a lot when I’m with them. I wanted to make an effort to extend that by smiling at others.

I find it’s easy to exchange smiles with others I see when I’m on my morning walks. People I encounter are basically friendly and we all feel good when we’re outside walking. So it’s easy to smile at strangers and say good morning.

I also started extending that by smiling at those I encounter in a typical day — people like the checkout clerks in the grocery store and those office workers who wait on me.

I talked with one food server this week who said most customers don’t look at her, much less give her a smile. “It makes me feel invisible,” she said. “I’m expected to smile at them but they don’t acknowledge me.”

Transactions that begin with a smile or a pleasant word go better.

Occasionally, we encounter someone with a nasty disposition. But I’ve found if you keep smiling and are especially nice, often times that rudeness will disappear.

I always find it makes me feel better, too.

Yesterday on my friend Jeanne’s birthday, she was serenaded at a meeting. While they sang happy birthday, they asked Jeanne to skip around the room.

I wish I could have taken a photo of her joyful face as she skipped. Skipping like a kid had her smiling and laughing like a kid.

Wouldn’t it be nice if there were more occasions when we all could radiate that childlike joy?

Contact Pattie Mihalik at newsgirl@comcast.net.