ver the past few years I began to realize that despite the fact that I am only in my 50s, I was beginning to think of things in terms of lasts. And I started to scare myself.

What I mean by lasts is simply that I had let my health go to such a degree that I could no longer accomplish some rather simple tasks without unpleasant consequences. In some cases I just couldn't do them.Fact: I could not walk from my car, up the stairs and into my front door without getting out of breath. My doctor actually used words like pre-diabetes and high blood pressure. I had long ago become deaf to the "O" word. Obese. There I said it.I had become even worse than that. I had become morbidly obese. In layman's terms, I had gotten really fat.Now I can list a million reasons why that happened. All would sound like excuses and many of them are just that, excuses. And I will defend myself only by saying that yes, like many others, I had gone through some tough times emotionally. And you know the old saying, "When the going gets tough, EAT."I sought comfort in food and I always may, because food was one of the ways my mother spread love, compassion and acceptance during her lifetime.Like many people, my weight fluctuated through much of my adult life; but I have been overweight for 20 of the last 25 years. During much of that time, I was self-employed and didn't have health insurance.In 2016, I was insured under the Affordable Care Act and feeling generally awful. I didn't wake up on Jan. 1 and make any crazy resolutions to lose weight. But around February, I realized I really didn't feel well at all. I couldn't stay awake throughout the day without at least closing my eyes for a few minutes, I wasn't sleeping well, and I didn't have the energy to accomplish some of the simplest daytime tasks.Something had to change, or I would probably never live to see my daughter graduate college or get married or have children. These things, I realized, were the most important to me.A trip to my doctor started me on a journey through a number of medical tests, including pulmonary function, sleep study and finally a stress test. Around the time of my stress test, my sister was diagnosed with breast cancer. A mammogram and breast ultrasound were added to the list.Despite the fact that I threatened to die during the stress test, at which point my cardiologist quipped, "It couldn't happen in a better place," I passed every test with flying colors.The diagnosis was a humiliating, "You're overweight."Oddly, this didn't really spur me on to change, nor did it turn me into a raving healthy living guru. But it began an internal dialogue that continued to echo within me for a few weeks.In order to have the stress test, I had to revise my work schedule at the Times News, so I let my editor, Marta Gouger, know what was going on. Marta showed genuine concern, which I have to say touched me and made me feel a bit more comfortable confiding in her about my struggle.A few weeks after the stress test, Marta sent me a carefully worded email, along with a press release. "Want to do this and write about it? Just a thought."The press release was from Pocono Medical Center regarding the "fourth Biggest Winner Challenge."The "Biggest Winner" is a program exclusive to the Pocono Medical Center's Healthy Living Series and is the brainchild of Dr. Musa Tangoren. The program was to begin in late July and run through January.I have to admit, I was intrigued. I was being given the opportunity to lose some weight and, well, get paid for it. Not a bad motivator.But I did have some reservations.First and foremost, this is a tough assignment. For someone who has not climbed on a scale willingly for 25 years, I was about to step up, so to say.Marta and I emailed back and forth. I was concerned that I would be expected to invite the readers in from the start of my journey, and I worried about that being too much pressure on me. I didn't want to take the readers along on a "live" ride until I was confident that I could be successful.I agreed to journal my day-to-day progress. Marta assured me I could bail at any point, which probably worked to inspire me to succeed more than anything at that time.I know weight loss may seem like it's the main theme running through everything I've said, but for me, it was all about my health. I want to be healthy. I want to go from point A to point B without being out of breath.I decided I had nothing to lose by joining the program, other than weight, but more importantly I wanted to get something. I wanted my life back.Judy Dolgos-Kramer's journey continues on next Tuesday's Health page as she shares her first steps with the "Biggest Winner" program at Pocono Medical Center.