Tell me another one
Like most of you, I grew up believing in what adults told me and what schools taught me. That's why I am now a full-blown cynic who holds little faith in the direction this country is heading.
One of my heroes is Diogenes from ancient Greece, the original "off-the-grid" guy. He cast away all belief in government, established religion and material goods to live on the street as a homeless man. When approached by Alexander the Great, Diogenes told the most powerful man in the world, "You're standing in my light," meaning that wisdom cannot be achieved from worldly values.I have learned to believe in nothing that I hear and half of what I see. Even if I'm staring directly at something, I know my eyes can trick my brain into thinking it's real when it's not.So what else have I been taught and told? Let's start with Columbus discovering America. First of all, how can anyone "discover" something that was already here. When my grade-school teacher told me Columbus had fights with the natives of the New World, I questioned two things. Who were these natives, and if Columbus found them here, weren't they first? Why was this land called the "New World" when it must have been here a long time before he sailed to these shores?I remember my teacher telling me that whatever is in the history books has to be true, so Columbus was the first.So I asked why isn't our country called Columbus or Columbia? She told me our land was named after Amerigo Vespucci, another Italian explorer who came here 50 years or so after Columbus.Now I wonder why our country isn't called Indiana in respect for the Native Americans or maybe Leifland for Leif Erickson and his fellow Vikings who reportedly reached our shores four centuries before Columbus did.As a kid, I was also told that I can grow up to be president of the United States. I was not informed that it might take $250 million or more to get me elected.I do have more experience in government than one of the current candidates, having been a member of my high school student council for three years.I don't have the qualification of having already lived in the White House, however, like the other one.If you think this election is strange, here's what I see in the next campaign to become commander in chief. Oprah Winfrey will run against Taylor Swift and God himself. Oprah would have swept the popular vote a few years back, but she's no longer relevant. God is a strong candidate, but he will lose too because many citizens won't believe him when he says, "God bless America."That leaves us with Taylor Swift, who will win by a landslide after she releases a new album just before Election Day. She will become a beloved president, especially when she delivers her State of the Union Addresses through her music videos.Besides being a cynic, I've become a skeptic, too. I have trouble understanding people who convince themselves that their position on one side of an argument is the only truth. To me, any valid argument has a valid opposing argument that should be considered. This leaves us with a certainty in nothing and a polarized nation of people.Religion and politics often create narrow mindedness, which benefits their believers, yet alienates all others. The end result is people get offended.We say we're living in a free country where our Constitution guarantees us the right to freedom of speech, but the truth is if you say what you want, you'll likely offend somebody. When people cry out they're offended, the offender gets angry too and everything gets worse for everybody.I would love to wear a T-shirt that says, "I'm offended by people who get offended."Tainted by cynicism and skepticism, I have now found more truth in what is not visible to my eyes or told to me by an authoritative voice.Santa Claus is real. Fairies dance on my lawn at sunrise, and like the Beatles sang, "All you need is love."So don't tell me another one because I'm not listening.Rich Strack can be reached at