Before I started writing this column, I ran it by the rest of the family.

In this day and age of the Internet never forgetting anything, I wanted to be sure that everyone was on board with me sharing our family experiences and have everyone help create some ground rules about what Mom could write about.The kids' enthusiasm for the project died off pretty quickly after I said this wasn't about getting rich and famous, but more about Mommy finding her happy place.Their interest sparked again when I suggest that maybe I could use code names for them, to help maintain their anonymity and make them "less Google searchable" by future employers and first dates.I was kind of partial to "Harry, Ron and Hermione" or "Luke, Han and Leia" myself, but I was interested to see where their brainstorming would take them. The first pass was "Hamburger, Hotdog and French Fries." While Hot Dog was definitely a good fit, I was a little reluctant to associate my kids with junk food; however, Carrot, Tomato, and Celery induced gagging fits all around. After a brief argument over whether or not the third option should be French Fries or Ketchup, the oldest one suggested his favorite Pokémon characters, but then derailed his own thought process as he could not pick just one that he would like to be.It did not take long for the one briefly known as Hot Dog to come up with "Toilet, Butt and … well, take your pick of bodily functions. …"As a mom of boys, I have come to accept that every conversation will eventually contain a reference to toilets or butts, and I have to admit that I probably laughed about it the first 800 or 900 times, too.This is the child who, when asked in kindergarten where he would help a turkey hide to escape Thanksgiving Day, said, "In the toilet!" and I have to admit there was a certain brilliance in his answer, because, as he said, "No one is going to want to eat him after he's been in a toilet!"This year, he drew an absolutely delightful picture of Santa getting stuck head first in a chimney and one of his reindeer hitting him right in the butt to help dislodge him. I also have to hand it to them, they outsmarted me yet again. They actually managed to get around my "no toilet talk at the dinner table" rule and even conned me into participating in it.The oldest one, who tends to be the scholar of the bunch, and is a Percy Jackson fanatic, suggested a selection from the pantheon of Greek Gods, but once again befuddled himself with too many options. When I suggested perhaps Percy might be a good choice, I got an exasperated eye roll. How dare I suggest a lowly demigod.After giving them more than enough time to come up with something, and suffering through several more rounds of suggestions like "Dodo Head, Smartbutt, NumNum Brain,"I decided to keep it simple and give them letter designations. So, without further ado, I'd like to introduce "A," "G," and "E.""A" is a brainy fourth-grader who inhales books by the pound and although he can work complex mathematical equations in his head, has been known to get to the bus stop and realize he forgot to comb his hair. "G" is a mischievous second-grader who has mastered pressing every button that I own, but knows exactly when to turn on the charm so that I can never stay mad at him for long. "E" is my mini-me, a precocious kindergartner who delights in tormenting her older brothers and being an absolute princess.At least that's how they're behaving today. Give them 24 hours, and I'm sure they'll have reinvented themselves. Anything to make me question my own sanity.Liz Pinkey is a contributing writer to the Times News. Her column appears weekly in our Saturday feature section.