The sweet gum tree in front of my neighbor's home is now as tall as a three-story building.

"It was just a twig when we bought it for $1 from the forest service," says my neighbor Tom. "Look at it now. Its growth is nothing short of amazing."His wife, Gini, says in lots of ways the tree is symbolic of their marriage. Like that tree, their long-term marriage grows stronger each year.As their 67th wedding anniversary neared, neighbor Bob Thomson asked how they were planning to celebrate."I admitted we never take time to celebrate," Gini says. "In 67 years we only celebrated once when we went for a second honeymoon."Saying that a party was long overdue, Bob hosted a neighborhood celebration for the anniversary couple.For Tom and Gini, I don't think the smile left their faces as they talked with friends and neighbors who came to help them celebrate.Several asked them why their marriage has lasted so long. Both Tom and Gini had the same answer: Because they never fight - and that peace is all Tom's fault, they quip."I can get mad at something and start spouting off but he never answers. We don't fight because he never answers back and never lets an issue turn into a fight," she says."It's who you pick for a partner that matters most," Gini emphasizes.Well, we all know she's right around that. One of the most important decisions we make is picking a marriage partner. Pick right and we can enjoy blissful years.On the other hand, picking the wrong partner or picking a spouse for the wrong reasons means plenty of unhappiness. It doesn't matter how well the rest of your life is. If you're miserable at home, you're miserable, period.Tom told us he thinks it's important to become friends before you become life partners or before you add kids to the mix."It's important to get to know each other and to develop a deep and abiding friendship. A strong friendship leads to a happier marriage," Tom says.Both Tom and Gini say they are each other's best friend - and always have been. They do everything together. If Gini volunteers at the community library each week, Tom does, too.If Tom volunteers to help the American Legion with a fundraising project, Gini works along side of him."We're at the point where we know each other so well we can finish each other's sentences," Gini declares.But all that togetherness isn't for everyone. Two women at the party declared their belief that a couple should each have separate interests as well as things they do together."That's especially important in retirement," said one woman. "If you're only around each other, you have nothing to talk about."On the other hand, if you go out into the world and have different experiences, you're a more interesting person when you are back with your spouse, she said.Another woman says she quietly looked for a job outside the home. She and her husband have a sterling marriage, but years of being together 24/7 left her longing for a big of variety in life.When she got a part-time job, she says she felt like a new person.Psychotherapist Marcia Naomi Berger wrote the book "Marriage Meetings for Lasting Love" in which she told of helping one couple with opposite feelings about togetherness. He wanted to spend all his free time with his wife. She found that stressful and wanted time for her own activities.According to the marriage therapist, many people benefit from a bit of separate activities from a spouse.My husband, David, is my very best friend. I enjoy every moment with him, starting from our shared breakfast conversation to our shared activities during the day. While I treasure that time, I also need "girlfriend time." David is my priority but I always treasure time with my girlfriends.You have to figure out what works best for your marriage.Gini said the real reason why their marriage has thrived is because they made the commitment to have a forever marriage."My mother was divorced two times and that made me resolve I wouldn't marry until I was sure," Gini says. "I vowed to have a forever marriage."Just like the sweet gum tree that can produce burrs at times, the anniversary celebrants admit they had one burr that hurt the marriage.When their daughter was killed in an automobile accident during her second year of college, both Tom and Gini were overcome by grief that suffocated the marriage.Gini says when things were bleak she was sustained by her vow to have a forever marriage. "We both work harder to connect again until we finally did," she says.Every marriage has rough spots. But I believe Gini is right when she says it takes a strong commitment to stay together and work through the rough spots.We get married for love. Love is an emotion. But emotions are like the tide that comes and goes. Commitment, on the other hand, takes work.As they celebrate their 67th wedding anniversary, Tom and Gini are celebrating their commitment to a forever marriage.Like the sweet gum tree in their backyard, they keep thriving, basking in the sunlight of their life together.Contact Pattie Mihalik at

newsgirl@comcast.net.