By PATTIE MIHALIK

newsgirl@comcast.netEvery now and then I pick up a book that tries to define the stages of life in a new way.Richard Rohr talks about dividing adulthood into two periods accumulating (which lasts for years), then a search for more meaning as we get older.In my mind, here's another way of dividing adulthood. There are the "work years" which can usually range anywhere from three or four decades to 50 years.Then there are the precious years I call the "do what you want" stage of life.Most, but not all of us, have to wait until retirement to get to that stage. Before then we have jobs to support our families and ourselves and we have family responsibilities.Finally, there comes a time when we can say: "It's my time. My time to do what I want."Yes, I know. Some people reach that "do what they want" stage simply by ignoring the needs and wants of everyone, except themselves.But that's another story. This column isn't about self-centeredness. It's about discovering the pure joy of doing what we want to do because, quite frankly, we earned it.I got to that stage only after I retired. Like most women, I spent a lifetime working as well as taking care of others, throwing myself into doing everything I could for my children and for others.I loved each and every stage of life and don't regret one minute I spent doing for others. To tell the truth, I left those stages behind only because I got booted out the kids married and went off on their own then my husband died.That meant I had to find my own happiness. Anyone who has ever gone through losing a spouse knows how hard it is to fill the emptiness that leaves.I was lucky. I had what I considered to be "the best job in the world" to help me through that period.After I retired and moved to Florida, for the first time in my life I could center my life on things besides work that make me happy.If I don't want to do something, I don't do it.Instead, I keep seeking things that bring me pleasure.Ahh, what joy.Most of that joy is because, for the first time in my life, I can center on my love of the outdoors.Last night, for instance, my husband and I went to the beach to watch the sunset while we joined with drummers that just have fun with rhythm.As I was listening to waves lap at the shore and watching the sunset streak the sky with shades of pink and red, I didn't want those moments to end."You know, I wish we didn't have to leave," I told my husband. "I wish I could sleep here on the beach."He reminded me that idea sounds a lot more romantic than it is. Older bodies don't take to hard sand as well as kids do. And eventually, mosquitoes and sand fleas would find us.But he knew what I meant.We both thrive best outdoors. And both of us think we can never get enough of taking in the beauty of nature.In this, my "do what I want" stage of life, I fill my days with outdoor activities regardless of the weather.Friends ask how I can bring myself to bike in high humidity. What they don't understand is how many times I say "thank you" to God for giving me the opportunity to do that.At night, as each day comes to an end, I sit outdoors and enjoy the peace. I watch the last birds that fly over and listen to their last chorus of the day. Even when night falls and I can't see anything except darkness I appreciate being outdoors.That's how I spend my "do what I want" time. I am relishing every second.Yes, I know, there is selfishness to my days. I no longer visit nursing homes as I once did and I'm not as involved in service groups as I used to be.There's a reason for this. I've done it all my life and it's not how I want to spend my "time for myself" years.On the other hand, I appreciate and take my hat off to those selfless individuals who work tirelessly to help others and to make our community better. I think they are incredibly wonderful to spend their retirement years doing for others."It's how I find joy," said one service-oriented guy who spends three days a week entertaining and visiting at nursing homes.Another good friend who retired from a major corporation now volunteers for so many charities and organizations that he needs a calendar to keep track.Once again, he's happy because that's how he chooses to spend his retirement years. He's doing what he wants.It doesn't matter how you choose to spend those years. What matters is that we appreciate the gifts we have been given the gift of unstructured days and the gift of only doing what we want to do.Like any other stage of life, we can fail to see the daily gifts we are given.Or, we can know just how blessed we are.