Harry made a bizarre comment the other day.
"I predict that in the future, man is going to evolve where he has a third hand."
"Huh? Why do you say that?" I asked.
"Well, think about it. You can't go anywhere that you don't see people with their phones in one hand. It's like they're permanently attached. In order to do anything that needs two hands to do he's going to have to develop a third hand to do all those things if he isn't going to put the phone down."
I laughed at his prediction for the future.
But then this scary song started going through my head. Do you remember ..."In the year 2525, if man is still alive, If woman can survive, they may find...In the year 3535, Ain't gonna need to tell the truth, tell no lie, Everything you think, do and say, Is in the pill you took today. In the year 4545, You ain't gonna need your teeth, won't need your eyes, You won't find a thing to chew, Nobody's gonna look at you, In the year 5555, Your arms hangin' limp at your sides, Your legs got nothin' to do, Some machine's doin' that for you. In the year 6565, Ain't gonna need no husband, won't need no wife, You'll pick your son, pick your daughter too, From the bottom of a long glass tube. In the year 7510, If God's a-coming, He oughta make it by then, Maybe He'll look around Himself and say, 'Guess it's time for the Judgement Day.' In the year 8510, God is gonna shake His mighty head, He'll either say, 'I'm pleased where man has been,' Or tear it down, and start again. In the year 9595, I'm kinda wonderin' if man is gonna be alive, He's taken everything this old earth can give, And he ain't put back nothing. Now it's been ten thousand years, man has cried a billion tears, For what, he never knew, now man's reign is through, But through eternal night, the twinkling of starlight, So very far away, maybe it's only yesterday."
This song was written in 1964 by Rick Evans. It's only been 50 years and we don't have to wait a few thousand years for some of those predictions to come true.
Take the year 3535. The "pill" it refers to is already here. It's called "The Media." It tells us what to eat, what to drink, what to wear, where to go on vacation...it tells us what to think about everything. How else could we have ended up with Obama Care.
The movie "Wall-E" is about the future where a robot lives on earth which has been abandoned because it can no longer sustain life. Survivors live on a space ship. They have become morbidly obese after centuries of relying on the ship's automated systems for their every need. All they do is sit.
The song says that could happen by year 4545 and 5555.
Hmmm. Kind of sounds like me and a few other hundreds of thousands, in 2013.
As for the year 6565, we beat that prediction of test tube babies by 4,587 years when Baby Louise was born in 1978. She was the first child to be conceived in vitro fertilization, but she is certainly not the last.
As for taking everything this old earth can give by the year 9595, well, people have been predicting we'll run out of fossil fuels long before that and then there are others that say it could last indefinitely. But it doesn't mean we should not continue to conserve and use the earth's resources responsibly. Harry certainly does his part by turning the thermostat down to 62. Me, not so much. The minute he's out of the room, I jack it up to 70.
Man has been predicting the end of the world since time began. Maybe man will be here 10,000 years, maybe not. But I bet you a buck, women will still be here.
I'm going to make a few of my own predictions.
In the year 2014, I predict:
• a Sasquatch will be captured in a wooded area somewhere in Maine and Disney will offer him a three-picture movie deal and a ride named after him in Disney World
• Martha Stewart, Paula Deen and Phil Robertson will have their own talk show called "Everything's Just Ducky." They'll share tips on how to survive the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune.
• Someone will finally develop a diet pill where you don't have to give up a thing and still lose weight.
• If this diet pill is developed, Linda will lose 50 pounds.
Hey! It could happen!