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Dust Bunnies and books

Published April 19. 2014 09:00AM


Easter is tomorrow. May you all rejoice in the resurrection of our Lord, Jesus Christ.

Most of you know of the Easter Bunny, a popular character that is a part of the secular celebration of the holiday. But did you know he has some very distant cousins? They go by the name of ... Dust Bunnies.

I know them very well. Several have visited my home often over the years. I can't say I'm glad to see them when they arrive. They are not welcomed guests. That's because they hide in dark corners, under furniture, (like my bed), and turn these areas into their very own personal Dust Bunny hutches.

Sometimes they elude me. By the time I find them, they have grown to amazing proportions, which depends on how much they eat. Dust Bunnies have a varied diet. They like "hare" balls, toenail clippings, spiders, dust mites (ewwww), dead skin cells (ewwww ewwww) and of course, dust. I once found a dead stink bug inside one. Another time I found my missing gold stud earring snuggled deep inside one. But I think their favorite gourmet snack is sock lint. I think I hear their tiny little chattery voices giggling when they see me coming with a laundry basket filled with clean underwear.

I can usually capture the fuzzy little creatures with my Acme Co. Dust Bunny Neutralizer Gun (vacuum cleaner). But I've noticed since we put hardwood floors in they can escape my Dust Bunny Neutralizer Gun and scoot under furniture that I can't move, like my hutch in the dining room. I believe there is a whole village of them under there right now dancing the Bunny Hop in glee. They've been there so long, I've given them names. There's Dusty, Honey Bunny, Boo Boo Bunny, Flopsy, Mopsy and Cottontail. So it's time to break out my Acme Co. Disintegration Ray Gun (my Swiffer) and annihilate the fuzzers.

I checked with Heloise, and her advice on how to get rid of pesky Dust Bunnies is to save your used dryer sheets. They make great grabbing Dust Bunny Terminators.

If you're not careful, they will reproduce at what seems like warp speed. God forbid I don't utilize my Dust Bunny Neutralizer Gun every week.

They can't wait for me to go on vacation. It's like spring break at Daytona Beach or a Shriner's Dust Bunny convention.

Little tiny Dust Bunnies love making their nests in your computer keyboard. The best way to rid yourself of them is with an Acme Co. Eradicator Gun (canned air). Don't use Q-tips. Dust Bunnies are great con artists and will try to entice the Q-tip to come over to the "Dark Side" with them.

I recently heard about a lady who takes Dust Bunnies and turns them into art. I ask the question "why?" I guess she sees Dust Bunnies and says, "Why not?"

Another woman takes dryer lint, third cousins twice removed from the Dust Bunnies, and separates the colors and creates dryer lint Christian art. She made a large mural of The Last Supper that Ripley's Believe or Not bought for $12,000.

I kid you not.

There's a band called the Cosmic Dust Bunnies.

Visit online and you can find some amusing Dust Bunny comics.

There is even a children's book, the "Rhyming Dust Bunnies" by Jan Thomas.

So literally, there are Dust Bunnies everywhere! Except my friend Connie's house. They don't stand a chance with Mrs. Clean. Yes. That is jealousy you hear. My Dust Bunnies tremble when they hear her name.

Well, you'll have to excuse me now. It's time for this gal to go on a Bunny Hunt. Ooh, ooh, there goes one now! Hmmm. I could almost swear I heard him say, "Eat my dust!" as it scooted way behind the refrigerator. It's time for that bunny to bite the dust!


The answers to last week's Brain Teaser challenge are, in the order in which they appeared:

"The Old Man and the Sea" by Ernest Hemingway.

"Fahrenheit 451" by Ray Bradbury.

"Moby Dick" by Herman Melville.

"Twilight" by Stephanie Meyer.

"The Catcher in the Rye" by J.D. Salinger.

"Rebecca" by Daphne du Maurier.

"Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone" by J.K. Rowling.

"Pride and Prejudice" by Jane Austen.

"Bridge to Terabithia" by Katherine Paterson.

"To Kill a Mockingbird" by Harper Lee.

"Miracle on the 17th Green" by James Patterson.

"A Wrinkle in Time" by Madeleine L'Engle.

"Marley and Me" by John Grogan.

"The Bible" by God.

"Little Women" by Louisa May Alcott

"Gone with the Wind" by Margaret Mitchell

"Charlotte's Web" by E.B. White.

"A Tale of Two Cities" by Charles Dickens.

"The DaVinci Code" by Dan Brown.

"Hunger Games" by Suzanne Collins.

"The Diary of Anne Frank" by Anne Frank.

"The Cat in the Hat" by Dr. Seuss.

"Love Story" by Erich Segal.

Let me know how you did. If you haven't read some of these, I recommend you do. They're all great books. Perhaps my second most favorite on the list is "To Kill a Mockingbird."

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