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Published November 30. 2013 09:00AM

I'm writing this before Thanksgiving. So my head is still swimming with lists of things to do, items to not forget on my next (hopefully last) trip to the grocery store, trying to figure out what time I should start the turkey and wondering if one bottle of wine will be enough ... for me ... to get through hosting Thanksgiving dinner at my house.

I, for one, will not venture out on Thanksgiving to shop. Thanksgiving is a day that should be totally devoted to family and giving thanks for all our blessings.

It makes me so mad that retailers have denied that privilege to their employees by opening their stores on Thanksgiving. Shame on them.

I also get a little bent out of shape when I see Christmas lights lit before Thanksgiving.

But, as much as I try to preserve the season of Thanksgiving, just for Thanksgiving itself, I have to admit, seeing all the Christmas decorations in the stores, watching Christmas commercials, I've been getting more and more in the Christmas mood.

I'd guess you could call this in-between state, Thanks-mas.

Speaking of Christmas commercials, there's two right now I really hate. The first one is the "Gifting Out" neighbors who are so happy with their Kmart purchases they're dancing in the driveway. It's just the same movements over and over with this stupid sound of "Hee hee hee hee hee. Hee hee hee hee hee" over and over until I want to take a big candy cane and smack them!

The other one that drives me nuts is the Sears ad with a guy chasing a turkey yelling, "Get in the bag, Get in the bag." I know he's going to run smack into the tree and land on his back, but I flinch every time and cringe cause I know that had to hurt.

This is the sad part. It took me all this time to realize, all I have to do is click the remote to another channel and voilà ... they disappear! Duh.

A delicious Christmas holiday vice of mine is watching all those sappy Christmas movies on the Lifetime channel. Last Saturday, I had a TV on in every room as I cleaned, listening to and watching Christmas movie after Christmas movie. Harry thought I had overdosed on them at one point because he was talking a mile a minute to me and I had totally tuned him out. I was so wrapped up in how Joy spent weeks trying to make every Christmas perfect for her family and feeling unappreciated and not getting the support she needed from her family that finally she decided to go on strike in the movie "On Strike For Christmas." And of course, it's right when she is having her epiphany that Harry decides he has to relate to me the fascinating details of every zig and zag a rabbit took while being chased by Sassy when they were out hunting. Geeesch.

I kind of can relate. To Joy. Not Harry. Every year I swear I'm not going to get caught up in all the hurry and busyness we all fall prey to. I vow not to decorate as much, not to bake as much, not to wait until the last minute to shop and wrap presents. I'd like to go on strike, too. Or at least be rich enough to hire someone else to decorate and shop for me. I'd still want to do my own baking. Why? Two words. Cookie. Dough.

Guess what else I found last Saturday? This amazing channel called QVC! Oh, I've known it existed, and I have seen it as I channel surfed. But I REALLY found it on Saturday, in between Christmas movies.

I'm convinced QVC stands for the "Quest" for a "Variety" of "Cool" stuff ... stuff you absolutely need but never knew you needed, until you watched QVC.

Take these amazing Calista Tools Set of 12 Ion Hot Rollers with Clips AND traveling bag. For just $99, or $24.96 in four easy payments, plus tax and shipping, I could have the most amazing hair style! No lie! I was glued to the TV as they removed these magical rollers from every length of hair imaginable and every one of those women, (who of course are not paid models, right?) had the most perfectly styled looking hair with just a flick of a hair brush! I was convinced I had to have them. I grabbed pen and paper, jotting down the important information to call.

But then, immediately after all this fantabulous hair-riffic magic, along comes the most beautiful boots. Everyone knows how "in" boots are in today's fashion. But finding boots that fit over my tree trunks, (otherwise known as calves,) is almost next to impossible. Well, there they were. The boots of my dreams. Isaac Mizrahi Live! Gored Leather Riding Boots. Made to fit any size calf. Even tree trunk size. They could be mine for only $157.56 or five easy payments of $31.50. The info was added on my tablet.

Oh. What to do? Beautiful hair or classy sassy legs?

The devil on my left shoulder was shouting, "Get both! You're so worth it!"

The Angel on my right shoulder was having epileptic fits as she was jumping up and down screaming "Are you nuts? You can't spend that kind of money on yourself just before Christmas! This is the season of giving, not receiving. Tear up that information and don't let yourself be tempted. Then turn off that evil show. Go back to those sweet Christmas movies. Besides, #1. you know darn well your hair would never look like that and #2. You're not Barbie and ten minutes wearing those boots without your orthotics will have you begging for your comfortable old lady Clarks.

The Angel won. Kind of. I didn't order either the Calista Hot Rollers or the riding boots. Yet. I'm still thinking.

Hey Santa. I know this gal who has been very good this year. Well, kind of good.

Hmmm. Maybe I could gift myself for Thanks-mas.

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