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Weird thoughts

Published March 02. 2013 09:01AM

Some days it's just better to not be too serious and go out and have some fun.

Here's some thoughts that should put a smile on your face. Enjoy. They were donated by an avid reader. I don't want to give you the impression that I'm that talented.

Here goes:

Is it good if a vacuum cleaner really sucks?

If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?

Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?

If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?

Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?

Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?

Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?

Why do "tug" boats push their barges?

Why do we sing, "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" when we are already there?

Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light."

Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make unexpected expected?

Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?

Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?

Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds?

If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?

If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?

Why is bra singular and panties plural?

Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?

Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?

How come abbreviated is such a long word?

Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?

Christmas what other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree, and eat candy out of your socks?

Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?

And, finally. The average human walks 900 miles per year and drinks 22 gallons of beer. This means the average human get 41 miles per gallon. Not bad, considering.

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