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Christmas Wish Lists

Published December 07. 2013 09:00AM

"He's making a list, and checking it twice. He's gonna find out who's naughty or nice. Santa Claus is coming to town."

Some years ago, my mom stopped buying Christmas presents. She hates to shop and as she got older, that hate just got stronger. So she gives Diane and I money and tells us to shop for her.

Diane and I couldn't understand that mentality.

But, the older I become, the more I understand. Each year I stress about Christmas shopping. When standing in a store, looking at all the merchandise, I get so overwhelmed. I've always been an indecisive person, and it's getting worse each year.

To make it easier on me, I demand Christmas Wish Lists from everyone on Thanksgiving Day. I figure it's a win-win for everyone. I KNOW exactly what to buy and that person gets something they really want.

My favorite list this year came from my 13-year-old niece, Abby. There are 11 items on her list. It's the last two that just endears her more to my heart.

Number 10 is: "Another trip with Aunt Linda to New York." She has Aunt Linda underlined and at the end of the sentence in parenthesis, she has (Linda) to emphasize the request. This stems from what happened last year. For Christmas I gave her a homemade gift card that said I would take her to New York to see "Phantom of the Opera." We did go to see it in June but she was somewhat upset that her sister and mom went along. She thought it was going to be just us. So this year's message is coming through, loud and clear.

Her number 11 had her mother and I both going, "Ahhhhhh." It says, "A shoebox of family pictures." When she read it off to us, she elaborated that she didn't have to be in the pictures. She wanted family photos of different generations included. Now how many 13-year-olds do you know who would ask for such a gift?

This will be a present that will bring lots of fun and joy as we go through all our old pictures to fill her shoebox.

I found this list that children's author Kenn Nesbitt included in his book, "Santa Got Stuck in a Chimney." It included items his parents could not find in a mall, like a UFO with aliens, a Tyrannosaurus rex, a time machine, a unicorn and a dragon. (Aren't they on everyone's list?) It's the last stanza that could probably top all of our own lists: "Of course, the weight of all these things might cause your sleigh to crash. If that's the case, dear Santa, please feel free to just bring cash."

My sister let me know one year that she isn't a fan of giving cash or gift cards. She believes that if you're going to give a gift to someone, you should take time and thought into buying that person a gift that is personal.

A couple of years ago, my fashionista sibling gave me a scarf. When I opened it, I was somewhat taken aback. It was very colorful and "not me" at all. But one day I wore a plain white shirt and it just cried out for something more. I draped her scarf around my neck and loved it! I've had several compliments about it every time I've worn it. So, what do I know?

But I do like gift cards and put them on my list. I'd take a gift card from A.C. Moore, Michael's or any place where I can buy painting supplies.

I went online to find out what some other folks are asking for this year for Christmas.

I loved one from a mom who asked for a pair of legs that don't ache (in any color, except purple, which she already had) and arms that don't hurt or flap in the breeze; but are strong enough to pull her screaming child out of the candy aisle in the grocery store; a waist, since she lost her's somewhere in the seventh month of her last pregnancy; a talking doll that says, "Yes, Mommy" to boost her parental confidence; three pairs of jeans that will zip all the way up without the use of power tools; and wondered if it would be too much trouble to declare ketchup a vegetable to clear her conscience.

If I made a list like that for Santa I would ask for a new set of brain cells.

While I'm at it, I think I'll add the following to my Santa wish list:

*a Smart Phone that is not smarter than me

*a Kindle that would kindle a fire under my butt to tear the wallpaper off my computer room walls

*a Kitchen-Aid stand mixer that comes with a larger kitchen so I'd have place to store it

*a Despicable Me Dave Minion doll to remind me to eat a banana (seriously ... this is on my 25-year-old niece's Wish List)

*a new wardrobe for the svelte new body I'm going to have once I make my New Year's resolutions

*a salad bowl set with a diamond ring hidden inside

*a 65" flat screen TV so I can feel like I'm at the movies any time I want

*a case of Orville Redenbacher's popcorn to eat when I'm watching my 65" TV

* a case of Coke to wash down the popcorn when I'm watching my 65" TV

*a chic pocket organizer for my purse (Ha! Gotcha! That one's a gag gift cause I'd need a lot more than a fancy pocket organizer to get me organized!)

*and last but not least ... a Makita BFR750RFE auto feed screwdriver. The ad reads, "Any tool worth its weight in washers needs to be useful during the inevitable zombie apocalypse. With a 22 minute battery life and auto-fed screws, you'll be boarded up safely before patient zero reanimates and wreaks havoc on civilization as we know it."

My niece Jennie Rose keeps telling us a zombie apocalypse is only a matter of time. I want to be armed and ready. And when I strap on my Makita BFR750RFE auto feed screwdriver, I want to be the baddest chick on the block.

So, what's on your Christmas Wish List?

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