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You couldn't make this up

Published March 10. 2012 09:01AM

If you happen to be traveling to Victoria, Australia in the near future and are planning to stay in the Courthouse Hotel you might want to bring a hard hat or risk death. A recent news story found on the Australian version of the ABC News website tells a bizarre story about pine cones the size of watermelons that are falling from a protected tree called the bunya pine. According to the story, these pods grow to be almost 22 pounds and falling from a height of 65 feet could be lethal to an unwitting victim. In order to protect their guests, the large cones are being removed from the trees for the protection of those walking below them.

Speaking of guests, a woman on a Southwest Airlines flight became the guest of the local prison when the flight crew had her arrested for cursing at a flight attendant during a flight from Los Angeles to Houston. She spent 10 hours in the local jail before being released and having her charges dismissed by the local judge. The reason behind this madness is unbelievable. The woman was arrested for painting her nails. Actually she had painted eight of her nails when she was asked to stop by the attendant. Not wanting to offend anyone, the woman entered the restroom to finish the last two fingernails when the attendant stopped her. The woman uttered a curse and that was how she ended up being detained.

She might have gotten detained but four thieves in Madrid, Spain managed to escape from police but their getaway was empty-handed. According to The Associated Press, the thieves crashed a van into a courier vehicle and stole bags of valuables throwing them into a waiting Audi. As they sped away onto the highway, the bumbling crooks crashed into a car causing their own automobile to get a flat tire. Not lacking in the improvisation department, the band of merry men carjacked another vehicle at gunpoint and hopped in successfully speeding away from the scene of the crime. Unfortunately, they forgot an important part of the caper namely the loot, almost $67,000 in diamonds and Rolex watches.

I could hear that conversation now. "Let's get out of here!" Minutes later, someone says. "So what did we get?" "I don't know. I don't have the bag. I thought you had the bag." "I don't have the bag." "What do you mean you don't have the bag? Where is it?" "What were you morons thinking?" "Us morons? This was your idea." Maybe next time they will use a better project planner.

While that could be considered a bad day for them, a Sri Lankan man had a much worse day.

Twenty four year old Janaka Basnayake had a noble goal to set the world record for being buried alive. The trench he was buried in by his family was 10 feet deep and covered with soil. He was uncovered seven and a half hours later and found unconscious and unresponsive. When taken to the hospital, he was dead on arrival. It is a bit ironic that they had to dig up a dead daredevil to declare him dead only to bury him again. This time I think he won't be disinterred again.

Remember the old road movies with Bob Hope and Bing Crosby? The Road to Zanzibar is one that comes to mind. The White House sent Vice President Joe Biden on the road a few weeks ago to campaign for President Obama in the New England states and they took the idea of hitting the road literally. His stops on this trip included Boston, Massachusetts, Manchester, New Hampshire and Providence, Rhode Island. Yes, you read that correctly. R-O-A-D Island. Of course the White House corrected the misspelling but it was a bit too late to avoid the embarrassment. I hear next week they are sending Biden to visit the other seven of the fifty 57 states Obama claimed were in the country four years ago.

Speaking of politics, Virginia has a new candidate for the United States Senate. His name is Hank, he wears a tie, has a campaign website and has launched his own advertisement. He is quite a hairy individual to boot. Oh, and in case you were wondering, Hank also walks on four legs and likes to chase mice in his spare time.

His owner Anthony Roberts set the campaign up to mock the political status quo and the resulting publicity crashed his website according to an Associated Press story. The site claims Hank is a moderate and is running to keep America a great country. Now if only we can get an owl to run for President, then maybe we would have a better choice in November.

Til next time …

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