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She's come undone

Published March 10. 2012 09:02AM

So I get this email that tells me March 8 is International Women's Day and that I am to celebrate my strong, independent, confident, beautiful self.

(Snort laugh. Yeah. That's me. Not.)

Evidently this Toronto author, Caird Urquhart, is providing all the answers to help me feel beautiful, confident, independent and strong in her new self-help, self-empowerment book, "30 Ways to Better Days: How To Rally After You've Been Dumped."

Dumped? Well, I haven't been dumped. Yet. But I read on to see what kind of advice this Canadian gal had to offer because she implored me to celebrate ME and to be all the woman I know I can be. How could I resist?

She asks, "Not really feeling too gorgeous? Why?" (Well, for one thing, it's hard to feel gorgeous in Omar's designer tents and having to wear orthopedic shoes.)

"Can't figure out how to get out of a rut?" (Does she mean like, you know it's Tuesday because it's your designated night to tweeze your eyebrows and clean the toilet bowls before "NCIS" comes on TV?)

"Do you know you need to change something but it's too overwhelming and need someone or something to hold your hand?"

I DO need to change something in my life. I'm hesitant to talk about it. But we're all adults here. So, here goes.

After 49 years of wearing a bra, I've come up against something that's never happened to me before. The last time I bought new bras, I purchased three, exactly alike. I paid almost $20 a piece. Here's the thing. They come unhooked. While I'm wearing them. I can be bending over and all of a sudden ... Bing! The girls are free! I've come undone.

The first time it happened was boarding the bus to come home from New York and ... Bing! I managed to get to the last seat and my 11-year-old niece, Abby, tried to rehook it for me. She couldn't. We did do a lot of laughing. Good thing it was winter and I had a coat to wear.

Thinking it was just a fluke, I continued to wear the bras. The second time it happened I was taking off my coat. Bing!

It's happened several more times. I know what you're thinking. Girl, get rid of those bras. Well, I'm cheap and it bothers me that I'd have to throw three almost perfectly new bras away and buy new ones. So yeah, it is kind of overwhelming. And in this case, it's not my hand that needs holding.

Most of what she had to say dealt with the end of a relationship, (not my bras,) but a lot of it could be applied to anyone's life. Here's some of her advice.

*Remove All Evidence: Do you have stuff in your closet you just can't part with? (Like my bras?) Do you feel if you throw it away you will be discarding a memory or a relationship associated with that memory? (Like the memory of walking along minding my own business and all of sudden something springs free and it's not my hair blowing in the breeze?) No object can replace your memories. Clean up your surroundings so you can have a fresh start. (She's right! I'm going to throw those bras out as soon as I get home tonight and take out a loan so I can buy bras with locks with keys on them!)

*Plan ahead: We experience good days and bad days. On the good days plan ahead, so on the bad days when you don't feel like doing anything, you will, because you have already committed to doing so. Just the act of getting up and out will help to lift your spirits. (OK then. Today's Wednesday. I'm going to plan on going shopping on Saturday. You guessed it ... new bras. Hopefully they will "lift" more than my spirits!)

Exercise: Exercise is good for your mind, body and spirit. Your body deserves your attention. Love it and it will love you back. When you feel good physically, your self confidence will get a boost, too. (I knew we'd get around to physical activity sooner or later. But I have to get those new bras first before I exercise again because when I was at the gym doing chest presses, guess what? Bing!)

Don't play the victim: The sooner you can claim responsibility for your life the sooner you can change it. Take charge of your day to day behavior and you will go from rut to rockin'. (By George, she's right! I bought those bras and made a mistake. Big deal. Get over it! Now get out there Linda and buy new bras. And just to get yourself out of a rut, buy three different ones, not three of the same blah white old mammy kind. Buy one with polka dots. That should make you feel like you are out there rockin'...Madonna style!)

Reignite your passions: Are there things you love to do like travel, art class or tennis? Sign up for those activities you love. Get out and do them now. (I love to travel! I could be like that old TV commercial for Maidenform bras. Remember "I dreamed I went on a safari in my Maidenform bra"? But that's pretty expensive. Maybe I'll start small by traveling to a different grocery store each week. In a different bra! Art class? I could hand-paint one of my new bras. And Abby has been wanting me to play tennis with her. On the Wii. I could wear a sports bra. Wow! There are just endless possibilities!)

Change your routine: Even the smallest change in your day to day routine will shift your perspective and start to pull you out of your rut. Take a different route to work, change what you eat in the morning, stop watching TV with dinner. Mix it up and see what new ideas and opportunities come into your life. (I am so stoked right now I can hardly stand it! She's right! I'm going to buy bras in all different colors and designs for every day of the week. I just might even go bra-less one day.) (Hahaha. Just kidding.)

Maybe this Canuck chick's advice really can help me celebrate my strong, independent, confident, beautiful self. Along with some new bras. This could be a very "uplifting" experience.

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