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Let's talk money

Published April 07. 2012 09:01AM

Dear Editor:

Who in their right mind does not like to talk about money? Their financial dreams?

The winning lottery numbers? Oh! But to sleep... to dream. At least they are tax far!

I often wonder that perhaps our elected officials make decisions while in a trance. Screw the taxpayers! The politician thinks he is omnipotent; all powerful. He does not care to have his reasons challenged by those wishy-washy, pain in the butt, do-gooders who dare to ask why. Don't they know that he has a family to feed too? Nieces and nephews ( perhaps the result of too much in-breeding ) and aunts and uncles to create jobs that really are symbolic. How does "Numeric Consultant" sound? Let's see, could that be a "lottery player" ? What the hey, it's tough and emotionally draining; give them a raise but masked it in a liberal gas allowance or lodging and, of course, entertainment (because drinking alone makes him an alcoholic!) Or, how about, "Statistical Analyst" or the guy who checks the lottery numbers!

Of course I make jest! Really? Hey, what with only 30 percent or so of eligible voters voting, what does the politician have to fear? "Looky, I just paved (actually patched) that road you've been complaining about the past five months. And by the way. don't forget to vote for me next election."

Of course he'll have to hire someone who actually knows what's going on ( we'll have to give Uncle Mordy a new title. Hire a "Title Consultant, Aunt Bess will do just fine.")

Forgive my rambling (pretend I'm a politician) but I just caught the evening news concerning the raising of the national debt. Guess 14 TRILLION dollars just doesn't cut it nowadays! That's 14 with 12 zeroes after it! Do I jest ? Nay ! (for those who are mathematically challenged: there's the measly hundreds (00) followed by the anemic thousands (000) followed by the still skinny millions (000,000); this followed by (we're getting there) or the billion (000,000,000) and finally ending in the grand prize is the trillion (000,000,000,000)!

Count them. Twelve zeroes of your hard earned money. Oh, another thought, for President Obama and friends: didn't the Great Depression of 1929 start when taxes were increased? Must we repeat the

same mistake? Have you not learned diddly-doo from history?

Wasn't it last month that the Democrats and Republicans, after massaging the press (maybe there should be an award for "The Best Political Teeth Mashing by people who don't really give a damn (forgive me Scarlet) saying, with tears in their eyes, we've cut $1,000,000,000 (for those with short memories, that's one billion dollars) from the budget! That's 1 (one) with only 9 zeroes after it or roughly 7.14 percent of the proposed budget.

Hey, look at what the banks are paying on savings accounts; 0.10 percent on a good day! And they complain that Americans aren't saving enough. DUH ! Even Homer Simpson can tell you why!

By now you probably think I should be committed but before they come for me in the padded wagon: permit me to fantasize!

I won't be greedy, so let's say the taxpayers gives me one billion dollars to spend. That's $83,000,000 (83 million) a month or $2,075,000.00 a week, or $ 415,000.00 a day or $ 51,875.00 per hour! Not too shabby!! Another way of looking at it...if you spent $1,000 A DAY (just stop of think what you would purchase) it would take you 2,747 YEARS to spend one billion dollars!

It's also most incomprehensible.

How many Rolls-Royces can I drive? There was a time when it would've been a Cadillac but our American lackadaisical attitude and acceptance of second rate quality has even the most die-hard union member looking at the price tag than where it was made! Recently ABC news, I believe, ran a series on "Made In America" wherein they went to a home and removed anything and everything that was not made in the USA. Guess what? Just about everything was taken out. They just left the shell of the house. Disheartening. BUT after they set about replacing everything with American made (and it was no easy task) the house was completely furnished and at a lower price than the imported stuff!

Okay. Here's my dream: why can't there be a large store selling only "Made In America" ? Why aren't there consultants who specialize in procuring only "Made In America"? And my deep REM sleep mode says "why don't we just say to our "allies" (now that's a laugh): we will no longer give you billions of American dollars just so you can give us the broken peace signal (that's next to the index finger!) "Allow" us to fight your battles, sacrificing the lives of our brave young men, for what? I'm going to stop now. my pressure is rising and my thoughts, like some of our allies, are incoherent.

Greetings from the padded cell! Not as much fun as a frontal lobotomy, but what the hey. Been tinkin' again. Have you and your friends ever tried it? You really should. I saw a poignant political sign on primary election day, It said "VOTE - SHOW UP OR SHUT UP." Too bad there's no tax on those who don't vote. Here are some lame brain excuses: it was raining, it was too cold, I don't know what the issues are, my vote won't make a difference, why should I, they're all crooks, his dog barked at me in 1998, his mother's nephew wife's neighbor said he was no good! I could just imagine our founding fathers rolling over in their graves!

I recall from my college days, especially from my Civilization prof, P.K. Adams, a statement made by the British historian, Arnold Thornby: "Civilization moves westward". Let's refresh your history courses: Mesopotamia (currently Iraq & buddies), then the Egyptians, the Greeks, the Romans, the Spaniards, the French, the British, the Americas, Japan (they may have lost the war but they sure won the battle of the buck), the Chinese. Will it now go full circle? OR can mankind determine its' own fate and actually learn form history?

Why did each of these civilizations eventually fall? Because once they attained their intellectual zenith their attitude changed from one of high goals (the perfection of man) to one of "give me, give me, I'm better than the rest of you, etc." They became lazy, both physically and intellectually. I honestly fear we may be on the same path to become "a once, great civilization" that is now a footnote in a book. Oh, we better tell our great-grandchildren what a book is. And they better pass out Jonestown KoolAid when they forget how to make batteries and stopped making electricity.

The newspapers have been reporting President Backrack Obama's stimulus proposal of $500 billion dollars. I guess there must have been a few bankers who have fallen on tough times - down to their last ten million dollars, they may even have to cut-back on that three year old private jet and possibly have the indignation of not receiving their full bonus package. After all, they did manage to royally screw the now unemployed homeowner and it must be a tough job telling some poor snook that he can afford a $300,000 home with no down payment and an easily affordable monthly payment. So what if he goes belly-up, gets divorced and loses his skin off his teeth. Oh, by the way, I haven't seen too many people overjoyed and ecstatic with the last stimulus package. But then again, I'm not in the millionaire league.

Bye-the-bye, I can't resist playing with numbers, but anyway $ 500,000,000,000 that's 500 billion) is only, now brace yourself, is only 3.57 percent of the proposed (14 trillion) $14,000,000,000,000 Oma-ma''s budget! And shame, shame on Congress.......has the "good old boys club" lowered their standards? I wonder if they would be willing to swap benefit packages ?

I was food shopping the other day and I was amazed by the quantity of items in the carts. I believe that the common grocery store carries over 40,000 items! (I wonder about the mental longevity of the programer). At any rate, I was grateful my kids were grown up. It must cost a small fortune to feed a family at today's prices.

You know what? I betcha the politicians have absolute;y no idea of what it costs the average wage-earner to put food on the table. Oh yeah, someone said there is NO INFLATION! No inflation? I guess the sneaky manufacturers figure the consumer is too dumb to notice that there's one less pound of sugar in the soon to be extinct 5 lb. bag; that crackers are now in the range of 10 to 14 oz., and those cute little tags called "consumer information" are really frustrating. How do you compare a 10.4 oz. Jar with lbs. / gal ? Oh I'm angry, obviously, they made my peanut butter 14 ounces!

Is there no justice in the universe? Where is the Caped Crusader? Luke Skywalker ? I wonder how they get the padding in my cell so white?

Joseph P. Kubert


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