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'Twilight': 'Breaking' boredom

Published November 30. 2011 05:01PM

"The Twilight Series: Breaking Dawn, Part 1" is an entertaining movie that should please fans of the movie and not disappoint fans of the fictional book series by Stephenie Meyer.

One presumes they are one and the same.

As for the vampires and werewolves, we're not so sure.

The vampires don't come off as half-bad for being half-dead.

The werewolves, well, they are often in the dark. And, as they zoom through the woods faster than a Predator drone, you can barely pick them out.

The big three are what's important here, anyway.

Kristen Stewart is back as Bella Swan, Robert Pattison as Edward Cullen and Taylor Lautner as Jacob Black.

As fans of the books and movies know, "Breaking Dawn" is about Bella's big day as she walks down the aisle -- well, a moss-strewn forest glade, really, outside the Cullens' mansion. And it's also about the birth of a -- well, you'll just have to see for yourself.

The wedding should please the most, shall we say, die-hard celebrity wedding fans.

For inquiring minds who want to know: Bella's white gown has a plain front of geometric panels, V-neck bodice, lace-detailed open back with two patterns in the shape of abstract crosses.

Edward wears a white vest and black tux with tails. Edward also seems to wear more makeup than Bella. When it comes to whiteface, Edward gives Marcel Marceau a run for the money.

The "Twilight" series is a combination of a "creature feature" (horror film) and Harlequin romance. This is especially true of "Breaking Dawn," which seeks to pad the thin storyline so as to stretch it out into two parts. "Twilight" fans must wait until next November for Part 2.

So, we get lots of soaring symphony music (by Carter Burwell) and growling wolves for action sequence fights between the werewolves and the vampires.

There is tinkling piano music and strings for the wedding scene. No Mendelssohn's "Wedding March" here.

And throughout there are montages with pop and rock songs on the soundtrack to emphasize one or another of the character's moods.

The pacing is lugubrious. There are lots static shots depicting brooding over the brood.

"Breaking Dawn," Part 1? It should have been called "Breaking Boredom."

Director Bill Condon ("Dreamgirls," "Kinsey," "Chicago"), who also directs Part 2, does his level best to keep the movie interesting, but some of the dialogue is unintentionally -- or perhaps intentionally -- laughable.

"I've been waiting a century to marry you," Edward, the immortal, tells his beloved Bella.

"Breaking Dawn" is like a Hallmark television channel movie of the week, except with blood and fangs, yellow and red contact lens and that white makeup.

That said, "Breaking Dawn" should please fans -- and even strike an emotional chord with non-fans, as well. It did with me, anyway.

"The Twilight Series: Breaking Dawn, Part 1," MPAA Rated PG-13 (Parents Strongly Cautioned. Some material may be inappropriate for children under 13) for disturbing images, violence, sexuality-partial nudity and some thematic elements; Genre: Adventure, Drama, Fantasy, Romance; Run time: 1 hour, 57 minutes; Distributed by Summit Entertainment

Credit Readers Anonymous: Stay through the top of the closing credits for "The Twilight Series: Breaking Dawn, Part 1," for a preview of where Part 2 begins.

Box Office, Nov. 25: "The Twilight Series: Breaking Dawn, Part 1" continued at No. 1, $42 million, $221.3 million, two weeks, holding off "The Muppets" at No. 2, $29.5 million, weekend, $42 million since Nov. 23 opening;

3. "Happy Feet Two," $13.4 million, $43.7 million, two weeks; 4. "Arthur Christmas," $12.7 million, weekend, $17 million since Nov. 23 opening; 5. "Hugo," $11.3 million, weekend; $15.3 million since Nov. 23 opening; 6. "Jack and Jill," $10.3 million, $57.4 million, three weeks; 7. "The Immortals," $8.8 million, $68.6 million, three weeks; 8. "Puss in Boots," $7.4 million, $135.3 million, five weeks; 9. "Tower Heist," $7.3 million, $65.3 million, four weeks; 10. "The Descendants," $7.2 million, $10.7 million, two weeks

Box Office, Nov. 18: "The Twilight Series: Breaking Dawn, Part 1," fourth in the series, opened at No. 1, with $139.5 million, keeping "Happy Feet Two" opening at No. 2, with $22 million.

3. "The Immortals," $12.3 million, $53 million, two weeks; 4. "Jack and Jill," $12 million, $41 million, two weeks; 5."Puss in Boots," $10.7 million, $122 million, four weeks; 6. "Tower Heist," $6.96 million, $53.4 million, three weeks; 7. "J. Edgar," $5.9 million, $20.7 million, two weeks; 8. "A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas," $2.9 million, $28.3 million, three weeks; 9. "In Time," $1.68 million, $33.4 million, four weeks; 10. "The Descendants," $1.22 million, opening.

Read previous movie reviews at Email Paul Willistein at: and on Facebook.

Two Popcorn Boxes out of Five Popcorn Boxes

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