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Thanksgiving humor

Published November 26. 2011 09:01AM

After stuffing yourself over the Thanksgiving holiday weekend, I thought some Turkey Day humor was in order to help you recover from all that food you ate.

Q-If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?


Q-Why did the turkey cross the road?

A-It was the chicken's day off.

Q-Why do turkeys always go, "gobble, gobble"?

A-Because they never learned good table manners!

Q-What sound does a space turkey make?

A-Hubble, hubble, hubble.

Q-Why did police arrest the turkey?

A-They suspected fowl play.

Q-Why did the Indian chief wear so many feathers?

A-To keep his wig warm.

Q-Why did they let the turkey join the band?

A-Because he had the drumsticks.

Q-What happened to the Pilgrim who was shot at by an Indian?

A-He had an arrow escape.

Asked to write a composition entitled, "What I'm thankful for on Thanksgiving," a student wrote, "I am thankful that I'm not a turkey."

Q-What's the best dance to do on Thanksgiving?

A-The turkey trot.

Q-What kind of music did the Pilgrims like?

A-Plymouth Rock.

Q-Who is not hungry on Thanksgiving?

A-The turkey because he's already stuffed!

Q-What does Dracula call Thanksgiving?


Q-Why do Pilgrims' pants keep falling down?

A-Because their belt buckles are on their hats!

Q-How to you keep a turkey in suspense?

A-I'll let you know next week.

Q-Which side of the turkey has the most feathers?

A-The outside.

Q-Why can't you take a turkey to church?

A-Because they use such fowl language.

And some more:

A blonde was out of her home on Thanksgiving Day for the first time and was missing her family desperately. Finally, she decided to cook the turkey herself just like her mom. Later, when she was narrating her experiences to her mother, she said, "Mother, it was so difficult to eat the turkey." Her concerned mother asked, "Was it not cooked properly?" She said, "How do I know? It wouldn't sit still!"

Nathan, a young boy, after hearing the story of Thanksgiving and how the Indians and the Pilgrims sat down together, climbed up into his father's lap and said, 'Daddy, did you know that if we were Indians, you would be a brave and Mom would be a squawk?'

'That is the best description of your mother I have ever heard, Nathan', replied his daddy as he ducked.

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