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Country poetry

Published March 12. 2011 09:00AM

"Run for the round house, Nellie. The boys can't corner you there."

Last week's column, listing some of my favorite country music titles, got a good response. So good, in fact, that we'll provide you with another dose of down home poetry.

Thanks to those who sent in their favorite titles to share with all our readers.

We'll start with everyone's favorite:

"I'm the Only hell Mama Ever Raised."

"She Feels Like a New Man Tonight."

Are You Drinkin' With Me, Jesus?"

"I May Be Used (But Baby I Ain't Used Up)."

"If Drinkin' Don't Kill Me Her Memory Will."

"Velcro Arms, Teflon Heart."

"If You Can't Feel It (It Ain't There."

"Your Negligee Has Turned To a Flannel Nightgown."

"You're The Hangnail In My Life, And I Can't Bite You Off."

"You Changed Your Name From Brown to Jones, and Mine From Brown to Blue."

"Touch Me With More Than Your Hands."

"The Last Word In Lonesome Is 'Me'."

"Do You Love As Good as You Look?"

"I'll Marry You Tomorrow, But Let's Honeymoon Tonight."

"Who"s Makin' Time With the Time Keeper's Daughter, When the Time Keeper's Keepin' Time?"

"When We Get Back To the Farm (That's When We Really Go To Town)."

"Walk Out Backwards Slowly So I'll Think Y ou'rre Walking In."

"All I Want From You is Away."

"My Shoes Keep Walkin' Back To You."

"You Stuck My Heart In a Old Tin Can and Shot It Off a Log."

"And There as Grandma, Swingin' on the Outhouse Door, Without a Shirt On."

"How Can I Miss You When You Won't Go Away?"

"I'd Rather Pass a Kidney Stone Than Another Night With You."

"Why Do You Believe Me When I Tell You That I Love Yoy When You Know I've Been a Liar All My Life?"

"He's Been Drunk Since His Wife's Gone Punk."

"You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly."

"I Keep Forgettin' I Forgot About You."

"She Got The Gold Mine and I Got The Shaft."

"Come Out of the Wheatfield Nelly, You're Going Against the Grain."

"My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend, And I sure Do Miss Him."

"I Changed Her Oil, She Changed My Life."

"Drop Kick Me, Jesus, Through The Goalposts Of Life."

"Thank God And Greyhound She's Gone."

"Don't Chop Any Wood, Mother, I'm Comin' in With a Load."

"If You Don't Leave Me Alone, I'll Go and Find Someone Else Who Will."

"She Got the Ring, and I Got the Finger."

"I've Got The Hungries For Your Love, And I'm Waiting In Your Welfare Line."

"Bubba Shot the Jukebox."

"I Fell In A Pile of You, And Got Love All Over Me."

"Four on the Floor and a Fifth Under the Seat."

"Get Your Biscuits In The Oven and Your Buns in Bed."

"My John Deere Was Breaking Your Field While Your Dear John Was Breaking My Heart."

"Thanks To the Cathouse, I'm In The Doghouse With You."

"They May Put Me In Prison, But They Can't Stop My Face From Breaking Out."

"I'd Rather Have a Bottle In Front Of Me Than a Frontal Lobotomy."

"If My Nose Were Full of Nickels, I'd Blow It All On You."

"If You Leave Me, Can I Come Too?"

"Oh, I've Got Hair Oil on My Ears and My Glasses Are Slipping Down, But Baby, I Can See Through You."

"She Made Toothpicks Out of the Timber of My Heart."

"You Can't Have Your Kate and Edith Too."

"You Can't Roller Skate in a Buffalo Herd."

"You Done Tore Out My Heart And Stomped That Sucker Flat."

"You Were Only a Splinter As I Slid Down the Bannister Of Life."

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