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Thoughts and puns

Published August 20. 2011 09:02AM

Warren Buffett, in a recent interview with CNBC, offers one of the best quotes I've heard in all this drama about the debt ceiling:

"I could end the deficit in five minutes," he told Becky Quick. "You just pass a law that says that anytime there is a deficit of more than 3 percent of GDP, all sitting members of Congress are ineligible for re-election."

Sounds about right.

The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

I refuse to watch any pre-season NFL football. And I think it's a shame that season ticket holders are required to purchase tickets to all the pre-season games as part of their seasonal package. I wish the owners had succeeded in having the pre-season cut to two games and the regular season expanded to 18 games in their recent labor negotiations.

I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian .

I think it's a credit to the community, and to the participants, that the annual Bike Night in Lehighton goes off without a hitch, and arrests for disorderly conduct and other activities are almost non-existant.

She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

The think the induction of twin brothers David And Derek Marouchoc, both 18, of Nesquehoning as Eagle Scouts, was one of the best stories to appear in The TIMES NEWS this week.

A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.

I don't know about you, but I think the summer is passing us by way too fast.

No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

The hours I spend with my grandson, Sean, are the happiest and most meaningful.

A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

Of all the televised sports shows, my favorite is "Pardon the Interruption", with Tony Kornheiser and Mike Wilbon. But I don't like it as much when there are substitue guest hosts on the show. Wilbon and Kornheiser, both sportswriters, have a great chemistry.

A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

Mary and I will be celebrating our wedding anniversary next weekend. Forty-four years doesn't seem like that long. Hope there's 44 more years.

Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

I think it's a good thing that television cameras are finally coming to the Pennsylvania Supreme Court. The Pennsylvania Cable Company, a non-profit entity, will soon be videotaping oral arguments in the state's highest court.

A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

What's with the summer weather? Either it's so hot we have trouble breathing, or we get so much win and rain it feels like we're drowning.

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

I hope Jorge Posada retires as a Yqnkee. I'd hate to see him close out his great career in another uniform.

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

After seeing and reading about what happened at the Indiana State Fair last weekend, in which five people died and another 40 were injured when high winds blew down an entertainment stage, we'll think twice whenever we attend an outdoor concert in the future.

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