By DEN MCLAUGHLIN

dmclaughlin@tnonline.comSeveral years ago I started publishing in this space once a year some funny headlines from newspapers across the nation that actually appeared in print. Here's the latest edition.Queen Mary having bottom scrapedSmokers are productive, but death cuts efficiencySoviet Virgin lands short of goal againBritish left waffles on Falkland IslandsTwo convicts evade noose, jury hungTwo sisters reunite after 18 years at checkout counterTwo Soviet ships collide - one deadRed tape holds up new bridgesMan struck by lightning faces battery chargeHospitals are sued by seven foot doctorsTyphoon rips through cemetery; hundreds deadLawmen from Mexico barbecue guestsMan is fatally slainMiners refuse to work after deathNever withhold herpes from loved oneNJ judge to rule on nude beachFifth-graders get grill LionsBlind woman gets new kidney from dad she hasn't seen in yearsChild's stool great for use in gardenFarmer Bill dies in HouseIraqi head seeks armsJuvenile court tries shooting defendantKicking baby considered to be healthyPolice begin campaign to run down jaywalkersReagan wins on budget, but more lies aheadRobber holds up Albert's hosierySomething went wrong in Jet crash, experts saySquad helps dog bite victimStiff opposition expected to casketless funeral planWar dims hope for peaceKids make nutritious snacksEnfield (London) couple slain; police suspect homicideNew study on obesity looks for larger test groupLocal high school dropouts cut in halfMilk drinkers are turning to powderCold wave linked to temperaturesIs there a ring of debris around Uranus?Panda mating fails - veterinarian takes overand finallyAstronaut takes blame for gas in spacecraft