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Published March 20. 2010 09:00AM

All of you out there know why you read The TIMES NEWS. You have discriminating tastes, and a strong passion for knowing what's going on in your community.

But what about other newspapers? Why do people read them?

A loyal reader provided this insight.

1. The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country.

2. The Washington Post is read by people who think they run the country.

3. The New York Times is read by people who think they should run the country and who are very good at crossword puzzles.

4. USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country but don't really understand The New York Times. They do, however, like

their statistics shown in pie charts.

5. The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn't mind running the country if they could find the time and if they didn't have to

leave Southern California to do it.

6. The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run the country and did a poor job of it.

7. The New York Daily News is read by people who aren't too sure who's running the country and don't really care as long as they can get a seat

on the train.

8. The New York Post is read by people who don't care who is running the country as long as they do something really scandalous, preferably

while intoxicated.

9. The Miami Herald is read by people who are running another country but need the baseball scores.

10. The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who aren't sure if there is a country or that anyone is running it; but if so, they oppose all that they stand for. There are occasional exceptions if the leaders are handicapped minority feminist atheist dwarfs who also happen to be illegal aliens from any other country, or galaxy, provided of course, that they are not Republicans.

11. The National Enquirer is read by people trapped in line at the grocery store.

12. The Minneapolis Star Tribune is read by people who have recently caught a fish and need something in which to wrap it.

Interesting thought.

The Wizard of Oz Is 71 years old.

Today, if Dorothy were to encounter men with no brains, no hearts, and no courage - She wouldn't be in Oz...

She'd be in Congress!

Right about now, a vast majority of the millions of people who have played NCAA March Madness pools are learning how little they know about college basketball as many of their selections topple from the tournament.

You always remember, or at least you should, the people who were nice to you on the way up. John Kidda was that kind of person. As a kid, my friends and I would frequently visit John's little grocery store on West Ruddle Street in Coaldale. He knew we weren't big spenders but he treated us like royalty anyway, always with a happy greeting and a warm smile. His place was one of the few in town where we could buy BBs for our BB guns, before we went target shooting. John always cautioned us to be careful.

His passing this week will take away a little sunshine from the many lives that he touched.

Tiger Woods is going to play in the Masters in April, his first appearance since his infamous accident and ensuing scandal on Thanksgiving night. Odds are already being taken in Vegas on how well he'll do. I'm betting he'll make the 36-hole cut, but he won't seriously contend for the winner's trophy after the second day.

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