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Party time

Published December 05. 2009 09:00AM

Hunter Man left for Deer Camp on Sunday morning and was gone for a few days.

As he held me tenderly and kissed me "Good-bye" he asked me in a husky voice, "Will you miss me?"

I answered in my best forlorn little girl tone, "Oodles and oodles."

(Interpretation-Whoo Hoo! Party Time!!!!)

I mentally started ticking off the merits of Deer Camp for me.

I don't have to cook.

I can put my pj's on as soon as I get home from work.

I can watch HGTV without feeling guilty about hogging the television.

I can eat what I want and when I want.

I can read uninterrupted.

All guilty pleasures I planned to enjoy while he was gone.

As I had him wrapped in my loving arms, I whispered back, "Will you miss me?"

And in his best sad little boy voice he answered, "Yeah. I really will."

(Interpretation-Whoo Hoo! Party Time!!!!)

For the next few days he'd be totally involved in the Male Bonding thing with other Hunter Men with the same goals.

Like bagging a trophy buck.

No shaving.

No changing underwear.

Belching without having a woman giving him dirty looks.

Telling the same old hunting stories over and over again while each guy pretends he's never heard it before.

The first day he was gone I spent at my mom's and we played Scat, ate dinner I didn't have to prepare and I had a great time. Had a hard time falling asleep. My feet were so cold.

The second day, I went shopping after work. I didn't have to hurry home to make dinner. Instead I ate two Whoopie Pies and called it supper. I decorated for Christmas. I was so tired I fell right to sleep. But I kept getting awake. It was a long night.

The third day I came home from work, started a painting project, and for the first time in a billion years, I burned my dinner of Kraft Macaroni and Cheese. Boy, was I bummed. So I ate a bag of chips instead. Couldn't fall asleep right away so I watched a stupid movie.

The fourth day I overslept because I stayed awake too late to finish the stupid movie. When I got home from work, I was just planning on sitting in Harry's recliner for a few minutes and fell asleep. I woke up just in time to make it to my township meeting. When I got home, I made popcorn for my supper.

I heard a truck door slam and my Hunter Man was home.

Party time was over.

I spent the next hour hearing all about his hunting escapades.

No trophy buck. In fact, no buck at all.

Because he ate stuff he normally avoids, and at weird times, his stomach and bowels were all upset.

Some of the guys didn't show up so, less Male Bonding going on than he had hoped for.

And, he forgot to pack underwear. He had to borrow a pair from his nephew, which he found totally distasteful and I found hilarious. Especially when I saw him in the boxers because he always wears briefs.


As we prepared for bed, Harry noticed the alarm clock sitting on his side of the bed.

"What's this doing here?" he asked.

"I put it there so I didn't have so far to reach to keep hitting the Snooze button," I answered.

He rolled his eyes and put it back on his nightstand since he's the Keeper of the Alarm Clock.

He gathered me close as we settled into our long-married-getting-ready-to-go-to-sleep positions.

We both sighed in contentment.

"I'm glad you're home. I missed you," I said with heart.

"Me too," he replied with feeling.

(Interpretation-Party Time is highly overrated.)

We both slept like logs.

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