"The Twilight Saga: New Moon" can be viewed two ways: The phenomenon, and the movie.
Young girls' gleeful gasps greeting the movie's first image, that of a full moon, translated into the third biggest box office opening ever.
The movie is rather less than phenomenal, pedestrian even. It is a clock-watcher, as veteran reviewers might say. You keep looking at your watch to see how much longer the movie will continue. Call it "Slow Moon."
The storyline is nondescript. The dialogue is as wooden as the stake through a vampire's heart.