Thursday, August 21, 2014
     

Columns

Saturday, January 11, 2014

So how did you all enjoy the "Polar Vortex"? Sounds like an episode of "The Twilight Zone," doesn't it? I can hear Rod Serling now ...

"What if a polar vortex settled all over the earth, and the mercury in thermometers never rose above 0 degrees again, with man to live in a frozen world forever? Don't touch your dials. You've just entered ...'The Twilight Zone.'"

The cold weather was obviously the hot topic for everyone this last week.

Saturday, January 11, 2014

On a recent trip, my son, Paul, and I had just finished one of several of our long philosophical discussions when he turned to me and said, ``You know, Dad, for an old guy, you're pretty cool."

I was startled, because I stopped worrying about coolness a long, long time ago. Isn't it curious, though, I thought, many terms and phrases have come and gone in the intervening 55 years since I was a cocky teenager, but "cool" still has the same general slang connotation today as it had then, although the essence of coolness is much different.

Saturday, January 11, 2014

The government is forcing us to live with a dim bulb.

We're being asked to turn our backs on Thomas Edison and turn our homes into toxic waste dumps.

That's right. Due to legislation passed here and in other countries, incandescent light bulbs, the kind used for 125 years, are giving way to highfalutin' CFLs, or compact fluorescent lights, which are notorious for being dim, especially when first lit.

They're mass produced in China, yet expensive to purchase.

Saturday, January 11, 2014

The Bigfoot world is buzzing again with news that a Bigfoot was allegedly killed by Bigfoot hunter Rick Dyer. It was revealed in a news story this week that Dyer claimed to have shot and killed the creature by nailing some pork chops from Walmart to a treeand when the big guy showed up, he shot and killed it.

Now he is preparing to take the body on a world tour.This would be a momentous feat and worldwide news if not for one small issue. Dyer has a career credibility problem when it comes to Sasquatch.

Saturday, January 11, 2014

Finding the right greeting card for someone special is hard.

Have you noticed how today's cards never seem to say what we want to express?

Saturday, January 11, 2014

The brutal temperatures this past week have really made me thankful for having a home and oil to heat it.

My dog isn't too fond of these temperatures either. Normally he wants to run around in the back yard sniffing and digging around in his domain.

Not this week. This week, he's all business.

I feel bad for all of the stray or neglected animals that must struggle to survive outdoors in the killer temperatures.

And what of the homeless? How do they cope?

When I think of the homeless, I associate their existence with city life.

Saturday, January 4, 2014

Harry made a bizarre comment the other day.

"I predict that in the future, man is going to evolve where he has a third hand."

"Huh? Why do you say that?" I asked.

"Well, think about it. You can't go anywhere that you don't see people with their phones in one hand. It's like they're permanently attached. In order to do anything that needs two hands to do he's going to have to develop a third hand to do all those things if he isn't going to put the phone down."

I laughed at his prediction for the future.

Saturday, January 4, 2014

There's an old classic song that sings:"Two different worlds, We live in two different worlds."

That song played in my mind today when my husband and I were each reading.

He was reading The Wall Street Journal featuring an article on "bathroom suites" in high-end homes. A jetted tub big enough for a party and steam saunas that cost $50,000 were part of the bathroom.

Meanwhile, I was reading the monthly newsletter from my favorite local social outreach group.

It's called St. David's Jubilee Center but I doubt many people who go there even know it by that name.

Saturday, January 4, 2014

I have a little mental game I play when I'm doing a certain unpleasant physical task, which is shoveling dense, partially frozen snow and ice chunks from the bottom of the driveway. I pretend that I'm opening it up so that the Prize Patrol can make it up to the house.

I wouldn't be caught in an egg-splattered robe and hair curlers like some of the previous winners. No, the driveway would be cleared and I'd be dressed and ready to pose with my new-millionaire giant check.

Saturday, January 4, 2014

As I sit and write this week's column, it is early on New Year's Eve.

I am tired as usual and trying to determine if I want to enjoy the festivities of the evening with friends, or simply bury myself beneath a pile of blankets and attempt to stay up long enough to watch the ball drop on TV.

I just finished "creeping" around on Facebook to see what everyone else's plans for the evening entailed.

It would seem that at this time, the majority of the posts I am reading discuss just how horrible 2013 was and how everyone hopes the new year will be different and much better.