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Columns

Saturday, January 28, 2012

By BOB URBAN

rurban@tnonline.com

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Gal. 6:9, (NIV)

Here are some thoughts sent on by a loyal reader.

Living on Earth is expensive,

but it does include a free trip

around the sun every year.

How long a minute is

depends on what side of the

bathroom door you're on.

Birthdays are good for you;

the more you have,

the longer you live.

Happiness comes through doors you

didn't even know you left open.

Saturday, January 28, 2012

Sometimes the daily news can be difficult to figure out.

Eastman Kodak has filed for bankruptcy. Analysts say the company's decline began long ago when foreign rival Fujifilm started cutting into the market long held by Kodachrome and other Kodak products.

Later, the trend toward digital photography supposedly became the nail in the coffin for Kodak. If that's true, I don't know why it happened. Why did the world's greatest film maker have trouble adapting to digital?

The first digital camera I used was a Kodak. It was a one megapixel-model and did a decent job.

Saturday, January 28, 2012

Did you ever notice the January hypocrisy of so-called women's magazine?

Scan the covers of these magazines while you wait at the supermarket checkout line to see what I mean. This month, headlines scream: Lose weight in the New Year. Unfortunately, the headline is right next to a big chocolate cake or an appealing dish of macaroni and cheese.

I'm probably noticing those food fables more at this time of year because I'm just like millions of others who want to shed those extra holiday pounds.

Saturday, January 21, 2012

CLAIRE:

I spent most of my childhood begging my parents to let me get a dog. For years I dreamed of having a furry friend that would follow me everywhere, be my constant confidante, my defender and guardian. But the fact is, there are two types of people in the world: dog people, and everyone else. Dog people not only love dogs, they need to have a dog in their lives.

My parents are not necessarily what I would call dog people.

In fact, it's possible that my mother could be described as anti-dog - particularly when it comes to the dog peeing on her oriental rug.

Saturday, January 21, 2012

By JIM ZBICK

jzbick@tnonline.com

The first month of 1912 was quite noteworthy for two special priests in the region.

First, the Rev. Hayes, rector of St. Mary's Church in Coaldale, became the talk of the area when he wrestled with an intruder who was trying to break into the poor box.

After surprising the thief, the Rev. Hayes grappled with the man. According to the Tamaqua Courier, the priest "put up a plucky fight in trying to capture him, but the intruder proved a slippery customer and managed to escape."

Saturday, January 21, 2012

In an unnecessary tragedy, the Italian cruise ship Costa Concordia was run aground by its irresponsible captain last weekend resulting in numerous deaths as the ship capsized on the rocks off of the coast of Giglio, Italy.

News reports claim the captain, Francisco Schettino was showboating for a head waiter by veering off course to close to the island resulting in a 165 foot hole being ripped into the hull of the vessel by rocks in the shallow waters.

Saturday, January 21, 2012

The current Congress and the President are usurping our constitutional rights. The new National Defense Authorization Act (NDAP) originally permitted the military to arrest and indefinitely detain anyone including American citizens without a warrant or a trial.

Saturday, January 21, 2012

My husband wishes I were more of a football fan so I would sit with him to watch NFL games.

I enjoy football and have always liked to watch the Philadelphia Eagles. But I can't sit there in front of the TV and root for any old team. When the Eagles are no longer in the playoff race, I lose interest.

But all that changed when I caught the Tim Tebow fever that has swept the country. Like hundreds of thousands of other people, my interest in football was ignited by the Denver Broncos quarterback.

Saturday, January 21, 2012

I signed up for the Biggest Loser contest at Dedicated Fitness for the next 12 weeks. I went to the kick-off to get "pumped up" and immediately upon leaving, got into a fender bender. Nobody got hurt, thank God, but my car had to be towed.

Went home, drowned my sorrows in a Coke and a bowl of popcorn with extra butter.

Hee Haw. Off to a good start.

Not.

First day in the gym.

I was never in one of these before. Pretty overwhelming.

Lots of big scary looking machines all around.

Lots of people sweating.

I hate sweating.

Saturday, January 21, 2012

You think English is easy?

Check out these examples sent in by one of my favorite readers.

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce.

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture.

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.