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Columns

Saturday, December 20, 2014

When I was a little girl, I wrote a letter to Santa every year.

I didn't ask for much.

Sometimes I received gifts that were on my list, and sometimes I did not.

I remember one year, the only gift I woke up to was an unwrapped, fully functioning child's typewriter.

My mom was a secretary and a single mom, and that was all she could afford to get me that year.

Saturday, December 20, 2014

The lack of respect for ancient historical landmarks has angered the Peruvian government along with researchers and others who have a deep respect for the history of the cultures of our planet.

One of the world's foremost mysteries, the Nazca Lines, was disrespectfully defaced and disturbed by extremist Greenpeace protestors whose very act on a natural artifact betrays their hypocrisy for their message.

Saturday, December 13, 2014

Well, here it is. Only 12 more days until Christmas.

I'm almost bald from pulling my hair out. I still have shopping to do, cookies to bake, gifts to wrap and gifts to paint.

But, 'tis the season to be jolly, so I try to think of things to turn my frowns upside down.

I chuckle every time I think of Harry putting up the outside decorations this year.

Saturday, December 13, 2014

I have an acquaintance with a husband named Grouchy.

No one knows his real name because she never calls him anything except Grouchy and she doesn't mean that as a term of endearment.

While she is outgoing and friendly, she always has to go places alone because Grouchy dislikes people and won't go anywhere, she claims.

When a couple from their church was having a party, the host issued a personal invitation to Grouchy.

"I really want you to come," he said.

"Why?" asked a doubtful Grouchy.

"Because I would like to get to know you better," he said.

Saturday, December 13, 2014
Hess's Inc. knew how to create illusion and it was fun being part of it, such as this Star Wars advertising image from Christmas, 1977, when I was in my 20s. I left the following year. The store was sold one year later.

Some of my most magical Christmas moments took place years ago at my first job at Hess's of Allentown.

If you shopped beneath those grand crystal chandeliers at 9th and Hamilton, you know how special Hess's was. Magic and glamour. Fashion models. Strawberry pie.

It also was a place of mystery, a series of buildings five stories high, joined together to appear as one, with secret halls leading to areas designated as "Co-Worker Only."

I was hired in Hess's advertising/public relations department in the 1970s and spent several years learning the business.

Saturday, December 13, 2014

The Discovery Channel had a special on this past Sunday that brought reality television to a new low.

Naturalist Paul Rosolie announced on his two-hour special "Eaten Alive" that he would be eaten by a 20-foot anaconda on television.

He supposedly had a specially made suit and helmet to withstand the reptile's force. Apparently there was a large buildup to the climax. He ended up in the snake's coils, and as the snake started to suck in the helmet-covered head of Rosolie, the naturalist called it quits.

Saturday, December 13, 2014

In case you missed it, the 2014 Victoria's Secret Fashion Show aired Tuesday causing heavy breathing and heart palpitations for men across America, while causing depression and shattered self-esteem of young girls and women at the same time.

Victoria's Secret sells clothing and fragrance but is most known for its provocative lingerie and ultra-beautiful, ultrasexy and ultra-skinny models, called Angels.

Until that night, I never even knew there was a televised fashion show consisting of supermodels in their underwear and kind of wondered why there even would be.

Saturday, December 13, 2014

By TERRY AHNER

tahner@tnonline.com

Move over, grinches.

Any ill-willed attempts to steal Christmas are bound to fail miserably.

Besides, no one wants to be around people who are mean-spirited and unfriendly, especially this time of year.

So, kindly step aside, dismiss those winter blues and holiday doldrums, and instead, turn that frown upside down.

Based on the litany of Christmas-themed functions staged in recent weeks, it's safe to say the holiday spirit is alive and well.

Saturday, December 6, 2014

As much as I love my day job, there are some aspects of it that I absolutely abhor.

At least once a week I end up speaking with a parent whose child has been abused, either physically, sexually or both. I have, on numerous occasions, been reduced to tears and have fought the urge to vomit over the horror stories that these desperate people share with me.

When you hear stories like that, it's really hard to go home and sleep at night.

I find myself wanting to grab some sort of weapon and take care of the pieces of garbage that hurt those innocent children myself.

Saturday, December 6, 2014

I've always believed there is no such thing as "too old."

Life is an attitude, and my attitude is every age is a good one. Plus, I'm a bit surprised to find that the older I get, the happier I am with life.

I was always sure I wasn't going to ever let the phrase "too old" apply to me.

I cringe when I hear people say they want to try something new but they are "too old."

"Too old" is a state of mind, one best avoided.