Friday, September 22, 2017
     

Columns

Saturday, May 30, 2015

Dear graduates, Karen Carpenter isn't around to give your commencement address.

But if she were, she'd likely say you've only just begun. White lace and promises. A kiss for luck and you're on your way.

And that's a scary thought after having spent 12 years inside a cocoon.

After sitting in classroom chairs lined up like so many dominoes, you're about to step into a world that's not lined up at all.

Be ready for it. And understand a few things.

Don't wait for someone to inspire you. Be your own source of enthusiasm.

Saturday, May 30, 2015

One day on the phone my daughter Andrea was recounting how happy she is after a long conversation with her son.

Grayson, her oldest child, is a college student who doesn't get home much since he left for Emerson in Boston. But they stay close via phone and email.

"He's so happy," Andrea says. "I just feel like flying when I listen to him talk about how happy he is."

I so understand that. When our kids are happy, we're happy. It's wonderful when they call to share happy news.

Every parent knows we never outgrow our love and concern for our kids.

Saturday, May 30, 2015

I have received some favorable responses to jokes I print in this space. With the help of friends, here is some British humor.

These are classified ads which actually were placed in U.K. newspapers.

Free puppies. 1/2 cocker spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog.

Free puppies. Mother is a kennel club registered German shepherd. Father is a super dog, able to leap tall fences in a single bound.

Cows, calves: Never bred. Also, one gay bull for sale.

Joining nudist colony! Must sell washer and dryer.

Saturday, May 23, 2015

I recently came across an interesting legend about a monk, a punishment and an alleged intercession with the devil which produced one of the most enigmatic tomes in history. Stored in the National Library of Sweden is an infamous religious volume known as the "Devil's Bible." This book also known as the "Codex Gigas" means "Giant Book," but it got its diabolical nickname from the legend that describes its apocryphal origin.

Saturday, May 23, 2015

After spending 12 extraordinary days in Italy with my tour group, the time came all too soon when we had to go to the airport to fly home.

As we patiently worked our way through airport security lines, two of my fellow travelers said: "Well, after being immersed in all that beauty now we have to return home to ordinary days."

I just smiled, thinking that there is no such thing as "an ordinary day."

Yes, Italy had so much beauty in every city and every town. Everywhere we turned there was something special to see, with one delight after another.

Saturday, May 23, 2015

If you are a grandparent today, you probably have learned that texting is a great way to communicate with your grandchildren.

Back in the olden days (or "dinosaur age" as I tease my grandkids), if I wanted to speak with my grandparents I would have to actually go over to their house and visit them, call them on the phone, or send them a note on the back of a carrier pigeon.

When I got my first cellphone, the saleswoman explained how it worked. She showed me how to use the keyboard to text.

I thought to myself, "I'll never use that feature."

Saturday, May 16, 2015

I have written about the great pyramid in the past and some of the possible alternative theories as to the origin of it and its partners on at Giza.

Historians, dreamers and theorists have speculated about their reason for being, what they mean, how they were built and what they symbolize. Depending on who you speak with, they are burial chambers, possible generators of some sort or just plain monuments.

They are probably some of the most studied constructions in all history because the closer one examines them, the more questions they generate.

Saturday, May 16, 2015

By CHRIS PARKER

cparker@tnonline.com

It's a beautiful Saturday afternoon, and I'm standing in a fire company social hall amid a swirl of exuberant family, friends and friends-I-haven't-yet-met.

Within the hour, the crowd will be sitting quietly, the only sounds that of the occasional sniffle as someone wipes away a tear of bittersweet joy.

Saturday, May 16, 2015
There was a time when cars had style, including tires and hubcaps.

May is a great month because it brings us Mother's Day, Memorial Day and the emergence of those grand old motorcars of days gone by.

That's because May brings warm weather.

Garages are opened and out come the works of art that once graced America's highways.

Yes, if there's one thing I like just as much as 1880s bicycles, it's lead sleds from great days of automotive design.

How can anyone not enjoy those magnificent cars of our youth?

Let's face it, today's cars all look the same.

Saturday, May 16, 2015
SPECIAL TO THE TIMES NEWS @$:Harry Koehler with a 27 inch brown trout, weighing 6 1/2 pounds, caught at the Kunkletown Rod & Gun Club pond.

Recent phone conversation between Harry and Linda:

"Linda, I caught a big fish."

"That's nice dear. How big?"

"Big."

"Bigger than Bubba?"

"Yeah. Bigger than Bubba."

(Bubba is a large mouth bass he caught in Maine several years ago and Harry had him mounted. Bubba now graces a wall in Harry's office/trophy room.)

"It's a brown trout, 27 and inches long. It weighs six and a half pounds."

Wow! Even I knew that was big.

"Did you throw him back?"

"Are you nuts? I'm keeping it. Who would believe me if I didn't have the proof?"