I'm sure you've heard the expression, "I saw it with my own eyes." Perhaps you've had occasion to use that expression.

If we see it "with our own eyes," we know it's true.But here's a thought: Perhaps what you see, or think you see, with your own eyes is far from true.That's because what we see with our eyes is tempered by what's already in our head. Quite often we form an impression or carry a thought in our mind about someone or about a particular circumstance. Then, no matter what we see, we view it in the context of what we believe to be true.In other words, what we see with our eyes is then tempered by what's already in our mind.I heard a motivational speaker talk about this by referring to two kinds of sight: Eyesight and mind sight.Mind sight, of course, is what we see based on judgments we make. Those judgments are influenced by our prejudices or sometimes by false impressions.The speaker gave these examples: Someone belonging to an organization looks at someone trying to help the club by volunteering. Instead of seeing someone trying to be of service, others might see someone "trying to be a big shot and take charge."If someone dresses better than the rest of us, we might write them off as a showoff. Before we even get to know the person, we are making judgments based on what we see … or what we think we see.The motivational talk was given to make us understand that the judgments we make about people can keep us from knowing and appreciating some really nice human beings.As she talked to our group, I thought about a real-life incident I witnessed at a dance party. People were sitting around a table talking about "the exhibitionist" on the dance floor. When I looked, all I saw was a glamorous blonde named Peggy dancing with her husband. Caught up in the beat of the music, Peggy borrowed a tambourine from the singer and used it to keep time with the music while she danced.Oh, then Peggy had another "exhibitionist" comment when she volunteered to lead the singing of "God Bless America.""Actually, she's a great human being with fascinating story to tell," I told the group. I knew that because a few weeks ago I had the pleasure of interviewing Peggy about the 13 foster children she took into her home.Peggy already had five children of her own but she figured she had enough room on her farm and in her heart to give a better life to some hurting kids."All they need is love and a structured home. My husband and I want to provide that," she said.What that means, of course, is that instead of taking it easy, Peggy has to cook meals for a small army every day. Between washing clothes and helping little kids, she has her hands full. When she gets a rare night out with her husband, she enjoys it.OK, I'll say this. Peggy might be flamboyant, as her detractors claim. But anyone who writes her off based on what they think they see is missing the true picture.How often do we misjudge people based on little things about them?In an earlier column I mentioned times in my own life when I wrongly prejudged people. After listening to the motivational talk today, we broke into discussion groups where we talked about our own experiences. It seems to be a universal problem.We also talked about how we often don't see what we think we see.I gave one example of looking forward to talking with David after a full day on the go. I had so much I was anxious to share with him.Usually, he comes out to my car to help me carry in groceries or packages. This time, he kept his eyes on his TV program. Thinking it was something interesting he wanted to see, I waited a while before trying to talk to him. But he kept his earphones on and kept his attention riveted on the TV.What I "saw" was a guy who cared more about TV than he did in talking with me. Of course that was a gross overreaction on my part. I unfairly judged David's attitude based on one hour, not on his true self.But we humans do that a lot, too, don't we?When we got together in our women's discussion group, we all admitted to times when what we think we saw wasn't really the case.Throw in personal prejudices, past hurts and expectations and the picture is even cloudier.A few days ago when I saw a friend I hadn't seen in four months, I gave her a hug and said how much I missed her."What are you talking about?" she countered. "You walked right by me an hour ago without saying hello."She thought she "saw" someone who snubbed her, not someone who simply didn't see her on my way to the ladies room.We may have 20-20 vision but we don't always see clearly.In human relationships, it's good to always check your vision. Then recheck it again.What you think you see with your own eyes might not exist.Contact Pattie Mihalik at

newsgirl@comcast.net.