BY PATTIE MIHALIK

When I visit my Florida newspaper office, I especially like talking with Steve, one of my favorite writers.

This week he was concerned about his wife. He said he came home from work the day before to find her sobbing and inconsolable.

“She said she was sobbing because the world is falling apart and we were all in terrible trouble. After we talked for a while I found out she came to that conclusion after watching too many news shows,” Steve said.

His wife cried that day, she said, after watching political shows that convinced her we are a nation in trouble. And her crying escalated to uncontrollable sobbing after watching a video about the poor people in Puerto Rico who lost everything because of Hurricane Maria.

“They don’t even have water, and unlike here, they don’t seem to have anyone to help them,” she cried.

Steve diagnosed her problem as watching too much television news. “She’s overcome with all the problems she sees,” Steve said.

One interesting thing about that is when I last talked with Steve a few weeks ago I told him I quit reading any and all political stories and stopped watching the so called “news” on TV because there were too many contrasting accounts of the same so-called facts.

It’s hard to discern facts from fiction, and the only thing that happens when I read or listen to those stories is that they make me sick at heart. And there’s nothing I can do about it.

Well, there is something I can do about the hurricane victims. I can and I do contribute as much as possible to charities that are on the ground helping those victims.

And when I realize that I still have a roof over my head, although it’s a leaking one, I give even more.

But aside from giving to the hurricane victims, there is nothing I can do about the sorry state of affairs in this country, nothing I can do about the hatred and the violence, other than to counter with kindness in all my actions.

I understand the feelings of Steve’s wife because I found all that horror in the news was affecting me.

When I told Steve I wasn’t watching the nightly news anymore, he said it was a bad decision because I was a journalist and should want to be informed.

Well, this journalist believes in changing what is possible for me to change. The rest over which I am powerless to control I have to leave to God.

I found that hearing all that nasty news left me mired in a feeling of helplessness that pulled down my energy and affected my attitude long after I switched off the TV.

I also understand we have to take care of ourselves physically and mentally. While that’s harder to do than ever before, I have adjusted my behavior in big and little ways.

The old Cherokee story about the two wolves says it best.

An old Indian teaching his grandson about life said, “A fight is going on inside me. It’s a terrible fight between two wolves.

“One is evil. He is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority and ego.

“The other is good. He is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.”

The Indian told the boy that same fight between the two wolves is going on inside everyone.

The grandson thought about it for a minute then asked his grandfather which wolf would win.

The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”

I am making a major effort to be careful which wolf I feed.

I do that by carefully evaluating what I choose to bring into my life. The books I read, the movies I watch, the people I surround myself with, and the way I spend my time — all this determines which wolf I feed.

I find if I watch a violent movie, especially late at night, my heart hammers and I feel awful.

If, on the other hand, I watch something uplifting, that good feeling stays with me after the movie ends.

My husband says I am super sensitive to outside influences. He’s probably right. But we all are, at least to some degree.

When we watch so-called news programs that bring us one bad news story after the other, how can it not leave us in a state of anxiety?

My parents were fond of the expression, “Birds of a feather flock together.” They believed our friends — those with whom we spend our time — have a major influence on what we believe and what we do.

Decades later psychologists tell us that friends have the potential to have more influence on kids than do parents or teachers. When we are adults, friends can still influence our thinking.

I want to flock with good people. I need to hang out with those who do their best to help others in a meaningful way and make this a better world.

I want to feel tranquillity, not anxiety. And the easiest way to do that is to be careful of which wolf I feed.

So, my question to you is this:

Which wolf do you want to feed?

And what are you doing about it?

Contact Pattie Mihalik at newsgirl@comcast.net.