Useless worry
Let's be honest. Life is hard. Working our jobs and raising our families can drive our minds and bodies to exhaustion.
Even vacations are often not as relaxing as they should be. A few weeks ago, I sat on a crowded beach in Wildwood, New Jersey. I watched numbers of fathers, mothers and grandparents straining to push huge beach wagons loaded with umbrellas, chairs, coolers, blankets and bags filled with who knows what across the sand to the perfect destination. A few hours passed and I saw them pick everything up and load it all on their wagons for the long push back to their cars. The look on their faces said, "And this is what they call a vacation?"While planning a "relaxing" vacation, we worry about how relaxing it will actually be. We also worry about the weather, the expense, the crowds, the place of destination. On the way home we worry about whether we passed the due dates to pay our bills, how high the grass has grown and whether the neighbor forgot to feed our fish in the aquarium. Then we worry about how we are going to pay for the next vacation.Let's be honest again, we worry about everything, don't we?I do the best I can to meet all the demands placed upon my brain each day, but I seem to always fail at something. Shame on me for saying this, but I don't really worry if I miss something. My goals for the rest of my life do not include paying off my mortgage or dying debt free. I'm leaving life insurance to my young family and this policy is what gives me peace of mind.The website "Success" says that 38 percent of people worry every day and it becomes a problem when it interferes with daily life. Worrying can lead to sleep troubles, muscle tension and indigestion. Chronic stress resulting from negatively thinking about what could happen can cause depression.The site says we need to accept uncertainty, but at the same time do our best to prepare for positive results. Your daughter has to drive two hours to her friends' reunion. Here's what runs through your mind. What if the car breaks down? What if there's bad weather?" Research states that nearly 85 percent of what we worry about ends up having a positive or neutral outcome. I know. Some of you will say there's still that 15 percent, and that's enough to cause worry.One technique that psychologists claim is highly effective to get people to stop worrying is to repeat aloud what they worry about very slowly for 10 minutes a day. In theory, they'll get so bored repeating the worry, they will take their mind off the subject. I know. I'm thinking that repeating the worries over and over again will make me worry even more!Pondering the worst-case scenario of your worry might help. So her car breaks down. She'll call home and roadside assistance. You can keep her on the phone until the problem is solved.When we are in a state of anxiety over something and we are fearful about what might happen, someone is likely to say to us, "What are you worrying about? It'll be OK." Although this someone means well with the remark, it often results in more tension and can harm the relationship. Chronic worriers may not match up well with those who do not worry about much of anything.Robert Leahy, author of "The Worry Cure," implies that it's not good for us to not worry at all because then we take no personal interest in the well-being of ourselves and of others.He also says there is a positive side to worrying. "A lot of people who worry are very good at empathy … often concerned with what other people think and feel."Leahy recommends his silliness therapy" and says we should laugh more. "When you're laughing, you're not worried."I'll try laughing a couple of days before my doctor gives me the results of my cardio tests.Have you ever been told, "Now you never have to worry anymore?" Let me know how that line has worked out for you.Most everyone worries, but we really worry about those loved ones of ours who worry too much. Perhaps, taping the following quote from American author and motivational speaker Leo Buscaglia to your refrigerator door might help."Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy."Rich Strack can be reached at