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Squirrels say thanks for the free meal

Published June 07. 2014 09:00AM

Dear Editor,

It seems everyone who has a bird feeder has a vendetta against the squirrel. True, he's not much more than a rat with a fluffy tail, but he's a master at solving puzzles when the reward is a free meal. Like all animals, he's an opportunist. Why wander through the woods in search of food when some thoughtful person put a whole bucket of seeds in that feeder, and it's all mine!

Now I don't know for certain, but I'm pretty sure squirrels can't read. If they could, it would be a simple matter of placing a warning sign by the feeder. DO NOT EAT FROM FEEDER, UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, would be warning enough to keep them away. Since reading is not on his resume, he'll plunder as much as he can for as long as he can, not knowing it's a birds-only zone.

All kinds of feeders have been made to deter the squirrel's thievery. When the perfect squirrel-proof feeder is found, one realizes one thing, it's not bear proof! But that's another story. I'd pen more on this subject, but I've got to go. There's a squirrel at my feeder! Dagnabbit!

Pete Bott

East Mauch Chunk

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