'If you like pina coladas'
You know the song.
It was released in 1979 by Rupert Holmes and was originally titled "Escape."
It became very popular, very quickly; however, people knew it as "The Pina Colada" song.
Mr. Holmes eventually agreed to change the title of it to: Escape (The Pina Colada song).
The song was basically about a guy who had become bored in his marriage and read the personal ads where he saw that a woman was looking for a man who enjoyed the same interests as she.
He responded to the ad and agreed to meet the woman at a bar.
When he arrived, he discovers that the woman was, in fact, his own wife and realized how much he really didn't know about her after all of those years.
Back in 1979, I just thought it was a catchy tune, but years later I thought the guy to be pretty horrible to have become so bored with his marriage that he would cheat on his wife.
Of course, she evidently felt the same way and it turned out well in the end.
After 20 years of marriage, I fully get the idea of falling into the "same old dull routine."
Let's face it, work, children, the house and all of the other responsibilities that we are saddled with as adults can fill your days and nights leaving you feeling too mentally and physically exhausted to do much else.
You end up becoming more like tag-team partners and less like the lovers that you once were.
I met my husband on the dance floor, and boy could he dance!
I found that fact to be a very attractive quality in a man.
We used to go out dancing all the time.
Now it is only during special occasions, such as a wedding or a crazy night in Mexico that I get to see the hubby bust a move.
He usually pays for it the next day too, with his aching knees and back.
I miss those special alone times that we used to have.
I have often longed for "date nights" and have felt pretty dismal regarding the prospect of ever having them as an item on our weekly or monthly "to do" lists.
It's kind of sad that this sort of thing ends up happening in most marriages, which can and often does lead to extramarital affairs.
We all know how it happens; the question is, how do you fix it?
Just like no two people are the same, no two relationships are the same, and so what works for one couple, may not work for the other.
However, I did a little poking around on the web and asked a few friends, and here are some of the suggestions that were made:
• Go through old photographs of just the two of you (before having children) and reminisce about the good times depicted in those photographs. Then discuss how much fun you had together and make a plan to re-create some of those special moments/dates.
• Make it a point to hold hands in public and always give your spouse a better kiss than you get from your grandma. Try making that kiss last for several seconds to put a little spark back into your relationship.
• Take an interest in the interests of your spouse. Even if it means you have to ask him to explain what is going on in the football game or have to hold her close when she is crying her eyes out during a "chick flick."
• MAKE TIME TO BE ALONE TOGETHER. Look, we make to-do lists and fill up blocks of time in our schedules to mow the lawn, weed the garden, help the in-laws, wax the car, take the kids to baseball, etc., because those things are important. Shouldn't our spouses and our marriages be equally if not more important? "Date night" doesn't need to be a night, per se. It could be a couple hours in the morning or the afternoon. And, to help free up time to be alone together.
• Do chores together. "Many hands make light work." - John Heywood.
• Appreciate and thank each other for all that they do.
• Play together. Be silly together. Laugh together.
This next one is not for the faint of heart:
• If you are having a heated disagreement with no end in sight, disrobe. It distracts from the argument, because after all, it's hard to argue with someone who isn't wearing any clothes, and if you don't both end up laughing too hysterically, it could lead to something more romantic.
I know there are many couples out there who, due to the nature of their work schedules, can live in the same house and rarely see each other. The most time I get to spend with my hubby lately due to his grueling and opposite seven-day-a-week work schedule is when we sit next to each other at church on Sunday mornings.
It is even more important in these situations that you make every effort to connect with your spouse to keep that love alive.
Men, please don't ever stop courting your wives.
Ladies, respect your husbands and always let them know when they do a good job.
To my hard-working hubby whom I miss very much: "Yes I like pina coladas, and getting caught in the rain, and the feel of the ocean, and the taste of champagne …"