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The wonders of emails

Published February 04. 2012 09:01AM

Whatever did we do before we had email?

I can't imagine my life now without it. It has, of course, replaced "snail mail" for many of us.

But as in everything, if something is good, it also has some "bad" in it.

If you have email, you probably get a lot of "unwanted stuff."

If I believed everything people sent me, I would be a millionaire many times over. But of course they're all scams and if I responded, I'd probably be penniless by now.

Like the one I received from Master Banba Kobbi, now of Ghana. He needs me to help him flee his country and if I help him, I will receive a portion of his late father's estate.

Now I want to help my fellow man as much as the next person, but Master Banba Kobbi isn't getting one red dime from me. I am very much aware that pleas such as this are scams. I never open them and delete them as fast as I can hit "delete."

If you ever order anything off the Internet, be prepared for an onslaught of offers from all sorts of Toms, Dicks and Harrys who have something to sell.

I love this one I recently received. It's for a TrekDesk.

"There's a new desk that is transforming offices all across America, it's called the TrekDesk and it appears to be helping many Americans with one popular New Year's Resolution-weight loss. Losing weight is the most popular resolution, but now we have help from a simple piece of office furniture, a stand up desk that incorporates the electric treadmill," says Rudy Fernandez, radio host with KEAN radio, famous for charity fundraising events, totaling more than $1.5 million during his career. He knew the value of the Trek Desk the moment he saw it.

And according to Steve Bordley, CEO of TrekDesk Treadmill Desks, "Our nation's health is spiraling downward yet simple changes such as walking 10,000 steps a day could reverse this trend in short order" which will "help employees restore health, prevent disease, increase productivity and boost mood. Designed to fit any existing treadmill, TrekDesk is an affordable, full sized, height adjustable workstation that allows individuals the opportunity to gain the necessary amount of exercise daily to maintain health, prevent disease, strengthen muscles, boost mood and productivity, without requiring additional time during the day or extra motivation. Workout at work with TrekDesk."

It can be purchased online for $483.77.

I'd be curious to know how many employers let their employees have one, let alone pay for it.

And what about all those emails that are so informative?

Like the one that told me if I poured Coca Cola on a piece of raw pork it would cause worms to come crawling out!

Or the one about the amazing car that got 200 miles per gallon that was sold by mistake.

Or how Walt Disney had himself frozen upon death until medical technology makes reanimation possible.

Well, thank goodness for to tell me that all three of these urban legends are false., or Urban Legends Reference Pages, is a web site you can go to if you have any doubts about the veracity of any questionable emails you receive. Snopes, which gets about 300,000 hits a day, is run by Barbara and David Mikkelson, a California couple who met on the alt. folklore. urban site.

Who says you can't find love on the Internet?

Barbara and David of Snopes did. My former hairdresser also found love on the Internet and then with emails and has been happily married for the last few years. Just make sure you're single and looking for love in all the right places.

I think the emails that bum me out the most are those that say, in order to prove I'm a friend, I have to forward it on to 10 other friends and make sure I send it back to the sender, which will prove I really am his or her friend. Or the ones that promise me untold riches and dreams that will come true, just because I forward it on: "Send this message to at least 5 people and your life will improve. Plus I hope you will send this back to me. 0-4 people-your life improves slightly; 5-9 people-your life improves according to your expectations; 9-14 people-you'll have at least 5 surprises in the next 3 weeks; 15 or more people- your life improves drastically and your dreams start to take shape."

My favorite emails are those with pictures, either of nature or animals.

But my most favorite emails are the personal ones I receive that keep me updated on what's going on in my friends' lives.

I have one cousin who lives long-distant and sends me updated photos of his two little girls. I love watching them as they grow and change.

I have friends who live in South Carolina, Florida and Pittsburgh. Because of the ease of emails, I am in touch with them weekly when before email, we were lucky if we managed to correspond with a yearly Christmas card.

Computer technology is truly one of the wonders of the world.

And because of emails, I have learned:

* I have sisters around the world who all share the same issues of how to deal with men, facial hair and pantyhose without losing our minds

*that nothing is funnier than old age jokes, except maybe blonde jokes

*the weirdest dressed people in the world all shop at Wal-Mart

*if I can burp and say my name at the same time, I might be a Redneck.

I just can't imagine going through my life without knowing all this, can you?

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