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The truth about global warming

Published March 12. 2011 09:00AM

We've just had one of the coldest winters in recent memory.

Some folks say the bitter cold weather patterns disprove Al Gore's global warming idea. Many now say that global warming is a myth, or worse yet, total fraud. Others say it's more a matter of knowing the difference between weather and climate.

But that argument doesn't sway critics who say Gore's pitch on global warming duped the government, the public, and the Nobel Peace Prize Committee.

Last year, Donald Trump said the Nobel committee should strip Gore of the award, which came with a $1M check. I've even heard that two committee members asked for it back.

Ironically, it turns out Gore himself has one of the largest carbon footprints. "Every month his mansion uses twice the electricity that an average person's home uses in one full year. His heated pool uses more than $500 a month in electricity," wrote a blogger.

While carbon dioxide emissions have increased over two centuries, the impact is minimal, say critics. The earth normally goes through periods of warming and cooling. There have been a few ice ages, too, and after each ice age there was a period of global warming. Then the cycle begins again. Right now we're emerging from the last ice age.

So what does this mean?

It means global climate changes have been taking place long before man existed. Even more, scientists say the temperature on other planets within our solar system has risen in unison with ours, even planets without carbon dioxide.

If global warming is a fraud, as more and more people now believe, there are financial reasons why that fraud was perpetuated and blown out of proportion, even with the government's help. But that's fodder for another column.

Actually, the real answer behind the global warming hoax might be found in a recent scientific find.

I don't know who came up with this discovery, but it's surprising, and might hold the key to many of our biggest scientific, medical and social issues. Of course, I'm not a scientist or chemist (nor do I play one on TV), but I think this information is important to pass along.

Researchers at a renowned British university have discovered a new element, the heaviest known to man. You needn't be a chemist to understand its properties. Here how it goes:

"The new element is called Governmentium (symbol = Gv). It has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312," according to researchers.

"Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, these 312 particles are held together by forces called morons."

Govermentium is easily detected because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.

A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause reactions which would normally take less than a second, to now take up to 4 years to complete.

"Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2 to 6 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places," say scientists.

"In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

"This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration."

So there you have it.

I tip my hat to the brilliant minds who came up with this discovery.

In a way, maybe it awards all of us a PhD in the field of Why Nothing Happens The Way It Should.

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