Signs of the times
Long berfore gasoline prices soared to near $4 a gallon, Sunday drives used to be a pleasant undertaking for a summer afternoon.
Along with the scenery, watching for unusual signs was a fun pastime. You would find them on billboards, on church bulletin boards, or, at one time, the famous Burma Shave signs that adorned rural America's roads.
Fortunately, signs haven't gone away, although Sunday afternoon rides have just about been priced out of the business. The following are some offerings sent by a local reader. Hope you enjoy them.
Sign over a Gynecologist's Office:
"Dr. Jones, at your cervix."
In a Podiatrist's office:
"Time wounds all heels."
On a Septic Tank Truck:
Yesterday's Meals on Wheels
At a Proctologist's door:
"To expedite your visit, please back in. "
On a Plumber's truck:
"We repair what your husband fixed."
On another Plumber's truck:
"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."
On a Church's Bill board:
"7 days without God makes one weak."
At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee :
"Invite us to your next blowout."
At a Towing company:
"We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows.."
On an Electrician's truck:
"Let us remove your shorts.."
In a Nonsmoking Area:
"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."
On a Maternity Room door:
"Push. Push. Push."
At an Optometrist's Office:
"If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."
On a Taxidermist's window:
"We really know our stuff."
On a Fence:
"Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!"
At a Car Dealership:
Outside a Muffler Shop:
"No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."
In a Veterinarian's waiting room:
"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"
At the Electric Company
"We would be delighted if you send in your payment.
However, if you don't, you will be."
In a Restaurant window:
"Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up."
In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
"Drive carefully. We'll wait."
At a Propane Filling Station:
"Thank heaven for little grills."
And don't forget the sign at a
"Best place in town to take a leak."
Sign on the back of another Septic Tank Truck:
"Caution - This Truck is full of Political Promises"