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A candidate I'd vote for

Published June 12. 2010 09:00AM

BilI Cosby, along with the late Jackie Gleason and Dean Martin, are my all-time favorite entertainers.

My affection for Cosby goes back a good 40 years, when he first did a skit on Noah's Ark, and another on the sport of football. After all these years, they still evoke a belly laugh.

A reader of this column recently passed on the following. He swears it came from Cosby. I can't be certain but it certainly mirrors his humor and his attitude toward life here in the U.S.

The reader claims Cosby has decided to become a write-in candidate for president in the year 2012. Here is his platform. It's too bad if it's done tongue-in-cheek, because anyone with this philosophy would certainly get my vote. His platform goes like this:

(1).Any use of the phrase:'Press 1 for English' is immediately banned ... English is the official language; speak it or wait outside of our borders until you can.

(2).We will immediately go into a two year isolationist attitude in order to straighten out the greedy big business posture in this country....America will allow NO imports, and we'll do no exports. We will use the 'Wal-Mart's policy, 'If we ain't got it, you don't need it.' We'll make it here and sell it here!

(3). When imports are allowed,there will be a 100 percent import tax on it coming in here.

(4).All retired military personnel will be required to man one of the many observation towers located on the southern border of the United States (six month tour). They will be under strict ordersnotto fire onSOUTHBOUND aliens.

(5).Social Security will immediately return to itsoriginal state. If you didn't put nuttin in, you ain't gettin nuttin out. Neither the President nor any other politician will be able to touch it.

(6). Welfare.Checks will be handed out on Fridays, at the end of the 40 hour school week, the successful completion of a urinalysis test for drugs, and passing grades.

(7).ProfessionalAthletes Steroids? The FIRST time you check positive you're banned from sports ... for life.

(8).One export of ours will be allowed: wheat; because the world needs to eat. However, a bushel of wheat will be the exact price of a barrel of oil.

(9).All foreign aid,using American taxpayer money, will immediately cease and the saved money will help to pay off the national debt and,ultimately, lower taxes. When disasters occur around the world,we'll ask The American People if they want to donate to a disaster fund, and each citizen can make the decision as to whether, or not, it's a worthy cause.

(10).The Pledge of Allegiance will be said every dayat school and every day in Congress.

(11).The National Anthem will be played at all appropriate ceremonies, sporting events, outings, etc.

My apology is offered if I've stepped on anyone's toes .... nevertheless....GODBLESSAMERICA!

He should win in a landslide.

Finally, White House correspondent Helen Thomas' brash tongue got her into a pickle she couldn't squirm out of. It only took her 89 years.

I like the idea of them playing a Super Bowl in a cold-weather city, in an outdoor stadium. I hope it's cold and snowy in 2014 when the game's played in the new New Jersey stadium. Football loses some of its luster when it's played in balmy climates or in air conditioned domed stadiums.

Don't home school kids feel a little deprived when they miss out on all the graduation ceremonies at the local high schools?

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