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Where We Live

Saturday, November 26, 2011

After stuffing yourself over the Thanksgiving holiday weekend, I thought some Turkey Day humor was in order to help you recover from all that food you ate.

Q-If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?

A-Pilgrims!

Q-Why did the turkey cross the road?

A-It was the chicken's day off.

Q-Why do turkeys always go, "gobble, gobble"?

A-Because they never learned good table manners!

Q-What sound does a space turkey make?

A-Hubble, hubble, hubble.

Q-Why did police arrest the turkey?

A-They suspected fowl play.

Saturday, November 12, 2011

I'm no longer living in sin.

For better or for worse, my days as a bachelor are numbered.

After 13 years together, Linda and I finally decided to tie the knot.

Rather than make it a big to-do, we chose to keep things relatively low-key.

Like a bunch of Renegades in the Night, we opted to be joined together in holy matrimony by a local justice of the peace.

Right after the ceremony, we immediately hightailed it over to my mom, and then her mom, so that they could have a moment to share in our big day.

Saturday, November 5, 2011

"Money, money, money makes the world go 'round" is a lyric from a ditty performed by Monty Python. And this truism has never been more abundantly clear watching the last five years of life on this planet Earth.

Money, or more importantly who controls it, who needs it, who wants it and who is spending it as well as what is its worth are questions on all of our minds. The world economy teeters and our lives seem intertwined on the fate of the value of money.

Saturday, October 29, 2011

"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me."

I strongly disagree with that childhood stanza.

Words are powerful, and there are some that are more powerful than others.

Love. I love you. That word can make you feel special and warm, or it could make you want to head for the hills.

Hate. I hate you. That word can crush you, or it could make you realize, as a parent, you just might be doing something right.

Saturday, October 22, 2011

I wish I had more time to do investigative reporting. I've been a reporter more than 40 years and I've done investigative reporting for the Philadelphia Inquirer in the past.

There are a few topics I'd like to spend time investigating. Here are some examples:

Ÿ The number of sheriff sales and foreclosures is increasing. In some cases, it's because banks were careless in lending practices and approved mortgages out of line with incomes.

Saturday, October 15, 2011

By Chris Parker

cparker@tnonline.com

It's July, 1965, and I step out of the car into the bright, blistering heat of an Arizona afternoon.

My mother and I have traveled from our Pennsylvania home to this swath of desert near Prescott to visit my oldest brother, David, and his wife Pauline. The young couple had staked out acreage in what I, at age 14, thought was one of the most Godforsaken stretches of land on Earth.

Saturday, October 8, 2011

When I was in high school, I loved poetry.

I loved reading it. I loved writing it.

The words seemed to flow from my pen every time I put the tip to paper. The world inspired me in ways I couldn't explain.

By the end of the day, my notebooks would be filled with scribbled down thoughts that eventually became a collection of poems.

Saturday, October 1, 2011

"If the shoe fits wear it."

Do you find yourself using phrases like this in your day-to-day life? These are called epigrams or idioms. They are brief, clever and usually memorable statements. We have a bunch of these in our house that we seem to use far too often.

Here are just a few of them.

Yesterday as my husband got ready to leave for work he said, "Well another day and another dollar."

I am thinking that in our economy today maybe it should be "Another day, another dime!"

Saturday, September 17, 2011

I wear a ridiculous amount of red, white and blue and on game days; you can spot me from a mile away. I'm the girl wearing goofy blue warm ups and a red shirt. I have nearly 10 pounds of hairspray in my hair, large fake eyelashes on my eyes and a pair of pompoms shoved in my backpack.

No, I'm not a cheerleader. Get that thought out of your head this instant.

Saturday, September 10, 2011

By DAVID WARGO

tneditor@tnonline.com

Local governments are where the laws are passed that affect us the most. And it is our local governments that should require the most attention from us, the citizens of these municipalities. That seems like such a simple concept, but not very many of us seem to participate at this level and it shows.