Sunday, August 20, 2017

The Generation Gasp

Saturday, January 21, 2012


I spent most of my childhood begging my parents to let me get a dog. For years I dreamed of having a furry friend that would follow me everywhere, be my constant confidante, my defender and guardian. But the fact is, there are two types of people in the world: dog people, and everyone else. Dog people not only love dogs, they need to have a dog in their lives.

My parents are not necessarily what I would call dog people.

In fact, it's possible that my mother could be described as anti-dog - particularly when it comes to the dog peeing on her oriental rug.

Saturday, December 17, 2011


Unless you have been living under a rock for the last few years, you're probably aware that student loan debt is at an all-time high - somewhere around 865 billion dollars, last time I checked. You know what else is at an all-time high? College graduates moving back in with their parents.

This is no coincidence.

Saturday, December 10, 2011


My wife and I recently met with our lawyer to update our wills. This, by the way, is a good idea for everyone. Remember the guy with the hit record of a graduation speech that began and ended, "Whatever you do, use sun block"? Let me paraphrase him: "Whatever you do, make a will." According to a 2010 Forbes Magazine survey, 65 percent of American adults don't have one. And if you don't have one, you probably won't take this advice either.

Saturday, December 3, 2011


Saturday, November 26, 2011


The six Times News subscribers, who regularly read my late, great "Attorney at Large" column a few years ago, may recall my advocacy of cheap red wine. I come by my prejudice for inexpensive vintages honestly. My Old Man used to keep a gallon of Gallo under the sink. After retiring, he nipped at that jug from around noon until bedtime.

Saturday, November 19, 2011



By and large the younger generation is rude.

For instance, they don't flush. At least the young men who use the gym, where I work out, don't. I ask you: how hard is it to give a courtesy flush? Perhaps they don't see the handles. Maybe they think all public toilets and urinals have electric eyes and handle that little task automatically. Wrong! The worst part is that, because these jerks are almost all stronger and in better shape than I am, I have to grin and bear.

Saturday, November 12, 2011



Saturday, November 5, 2011


Everybody dreams. At least I've never met anybody who denied dreaming. But I have met a few people - all around my age - who report being unable to recall what they dreamed. I believe them, because I've had the same experience. For at least a few years I'd wake in the morning, well aware that I'd been dreaming but darned if I could conjure up those dreams. They seemed to be floating right on the edge of consciousness, receding relentlessly from my memory.

Saturday, October 29, 2011


Antaeus was a Libyan giant, who demanded that every stranger who crossed his boundaries wrestle with him. He bested them all, killed them, and used their skulls to roof the house of his father, Poseidon. (I'll bet that roof leaked. Then again, I guess it was already under water.)

Hercules figured out that Antaenius drew his strength from the earth. Once he knew that, whipping Gadhaffi's mythical predecessor was easy. Hercules hoisted Antaeus off the ground, causing the old boy's strength to drain away.

Just call me Antaenius.

Saturday, October 22, 2011


"Yeah, but now I'm gettin' old, don't wear underwear,

I don't go to church, and I don't cut my hair."

- Jimmy Buffett,Pencil-Thin Mustache