Tuesday, February 21, 2017

Linda's Letters

Saturday, September 20, 2014



(Sing the following to George Jones' song, "The Race is On.")

"Now the race is on and here comes Linda up the backstretch,

Heart attack is going on the inside.

My tears are holding back,

They're trying not to fall,

Harry's still in the running,

My true love's banking the Chevrolet.

The race is on and it looks like we're flying

And if we live, we win it all."

Saturday, September 13, 2014

Joan Rivers, rest in peace. You did your job. You made America laugh.

I think I enjoyed Joan Rivers because she took many of life's truths and showed us the humor in them.

When she asked, "Can we talk?" you knew she was going to tell it like it was ... with wit and comedic wisecracks.

Joan: The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it.

Linda: I see joggers running up and down the sidewalk in front of my office every day. Nothing on their faces indicates they're having a good time.

Saturday, September 6, 2014



Grammy wore an apron, gray hair neatly permed.

When I sat on her lap,

I never squirmed.

She made the best, softest sugar cookies,

Days spent with her were treasured goodies.

Pappy taught me how to pick a fishworm,

I watched him tie flies with knots so firm.

If his baseball team lost, oh what a fuss!

It was through him I learned how to cuss.

Mammy's apron wiped many a scratch and tear,

She rocked me and tickled me, kept me near.

No request I made was too large or small,

Saturday, August 30, 2014

If you have a squeamish stomach, or if the subject matter is too uncouth for you, then please read no further, because I'm going to talk potty.

No, not dirty. Potty. Like in toilet. Latrine. Commode. The Head. Hopper. The John. Lavatory. Loo. Necessary. Outhouse. Porcelain Throne. Pot. Privy. Reading Room. Restroom. Throne. Water Closet. Little Girl's Room. Just a few of the 101 names for the potty that I could find online.

Saturday, August 23, 2014

I open the drawer. As I search for a clean pair of underwear, I bypass the first two pairs because I know the elastic is all stretched out. I haven't thrown them out yet because they're good in a pinch. As I hit the bottom of the drawer, I realize one of them is pinch-hitting today.

Harry's wearing the sexy paisley silk boxer shorts I bought him one year for an anniversary present. He's not wearing them to turn me on. He's just desperate. His plain white tighty whities are MIA.

I release a heavy sigh.

It's time to do the laundry.

Saturday, August 16, 2014

Just so you know, I am not a hoarder. Well, I am not a hoarder if you compare me to someone featured on the TV show "Hoarders." Or like someone Frank and Mike might encounter on one of their picks on "American Pickers" when they think they've found a honey hole.

The definition of "hoard" is "to amass and hide or store things."

Well, I think we're all a little guilty of that. So maybe I'm a titch of a hoarder.

I have a couple of drawers that might qualify for "hoarding."

Saturday, August 9, 2014

A flick of the calendar and BAM! What to my wondering eyes should appear ... August! The last month of summer! Holy cow! Where did summer go? I'm so not ready for the end of summer. I can feel the start of a deep depression coming on. Quick! I need resuscitation! Bring me an ice-cold Coke!

OK. Maybe that was a bit dramatic, but it's really how I feel. I don't know about you, but there just haven't been enough pool days so far this summer, and I'm hoping August will provide some really good hot sunny days.

Saturday, August 2, 2014

Life is like a pizza pie. It's like a slice of life.

Usually, a pizza is cut into eight slices. Each slice could represent the different stages of our lives.

The crust is the foundation. It's our beliefs, our ethics, our morals.

Every life needs a little spice, so we have the sauce, which adds a taste of richness to everything we do.

The cheese is like love. It's what holds us all together, binds us, keeps us going back for another bite.

Saturday, July 26, 2014

When I was a kid, during summer vacation from school, just when I might have started to whine, "There's nothing to do," along came Vacation Bible School to save us.

My friends and I loved VBS. What's not to love about making crafts and playing games? And we'd get to spend the last day at the Palmerton Memorial Park and pool! Sure there was a lesson, but even learning Bible stories was fun.

Saturday, July 19, 2014



My good friend Connie has been a list-maker since ... well, forever. Which is probably why she is the most organized and efficient person I know.

Me? Not so much. Which tells you that I'm probably the most unorganized and inefficient person I know.

But I'm trying.

I have resorted to making lists because of my you-know-what memory. Short-term. Yeah, that's the phrase.

How's that working for me, you might ask?

Well, I had two items on my most recent shopping list ... toothpaste and paper napkins.