Monday, August 29, 2016

Linda's Letters

Saturday, August 30, 2014

If you have a squeamish stomach, or if the subject matter is too uncouth for you, then please read no further, because I'm going to talk potty.

No, not dirty. Potty. Like in toilet. Latrine. Commode. The Head. Hopper. The John. Lavatory. Loo. Necessary. Outhouse. Porcelain Throne. Pot. Privy. Reading Room. Restroom. Throne. Water Closet. Little Girl's Room. Just a few of the 101 names for the potty that I could find online.

Saturday, August 23, 2014

I open the drawer. As I search for a clean pair of underwear, I bypass the first two pairs because I know the elastic is all stretched out. I haven't thrown them out yet because they're good in a pinch. As I hit the bottom of the drawer, I realize one of them is pinch-hitting today.

Harry's wearing the sexy paisley silk boxer shorts I bought him one year for an anniversary present. He's not wearing them to turn me on. He's just desperate. His plain white tighty whities are MIA.

I release a heavy sigh.

It's time to do the laundry.

Saturday, August 16, 2014

Just so you know, I am not a hoarder. Well, I am not a hoarder if you compare me to someone featured on the TV show "Hoarders." Or like someone Frank and Mike might encounter on one of their picks on "American Pickers" when they think they've found a honey hole.

The definition of "hoard" is "to amass and hide or store things."

Well, I think we're all a little guilty of that. So maybe I'm a titch of a hoarder.

I have a couple of drawers that might qualify for "hoarding."

Saturday, August 9, 2014

A flick of the calendar and BAM! What to my wondering eyes should appear ... August! The last month of summer! Holy cow! Where did summer go? I'm so not ready for the end of summer. I can feel the start of a deep depression coming on. Quick! I need resuscitation! Bring me an ice-cold Coke!

OK. Maybe that was a bit dramatic, but it's really how I feel. I don't know about you, but there just haven't been enough pool days so far this summer, and I'm hoping August will provide some really good hot sunny days.

Saturday, August 2, 2014

Life is like a pizza pie. It's like a slice of life.

Usually, a pizza is cut into eight slices. Each slice could represent the different stages of our lives.

The crust is the foundation. It's our beliefs, our ethics, our morals.

Every life needs a little spice, so we have the sauce, which adds a taste of richness to everything we do.

The cheese is like love. It's what holds us all together, binds us, keeps us going back for another bite.

Saturday, July 26, 2014

When I was a kid, during summer vacation from school, just when I might have started to whine, "There's nothing to do," along came Vacation Bible School to save us.

My friends and I loved VBS. What's not to love about making crafts and playing games? And we'd get to spend the last day at the Palmerton Memorial Park and pool! Sure there was a lesson, but even learning Bible stories was fun.

Saturday, July 19, 2014


My good friend Connie has been a list-maker since ... well, forever. Which is probably why she is the most organized and efficient person I know.

Me? Not so much. Which tells you that I'm probably the most unorganized and inefficient person I know.

But I'm trying.

I have resorted to making lists because of my you-know-what memory. Short-term. Yeah, that's the phrase.

How's that working for me, you might ask?

Well, I had two items on my most recent shopping list ... toothpaste and paper napkins.

Saturday, July 12, 2014

We had a lovely Fourth of July weekend visiting my niece in Lititz and experienced some of why it is called, "America's Coolest Little Town."

If you've never been there, plan a day trip. You'll love the scenery, and the charmingly quaint town offers great shops, wonderful restaurants, and is the home of Wilbur Chocolate and Julius Sturgis Pretzel Bakery.

Saturday, July 5, 2014

Were you one of those people who ate approximately 150 million hot dogs yesterday?

I'm a hamburger girl myself. To me, the only good hot dog is a burned one with ketchup, mustard, relish and onions.

The Fourth of July is my favorite holiday. I think it's because I had such great Fourths while growing up. We always spent them at my Uncle Bobby and Aunt June's in Pennsville. They had the in-ground swimming pool and a big barn that could accommodate their huge combined families.

Saturday, June 28, 2014

"No one is home."

"On Vacation."

If you look real close, you can see those signs in my glazed-over eyes.

Mentally, I'm on vacation.

Actually, I'm right dab smack into writing this column in Palmerton, Pennsylvania.

Mentally, I'm on a warm sandy beach, my toes in the water, reading a book as the waves lull me into bliss.

Actually, I'll be in the car soon, heading for home where I have to rush to make dinner in order to run an errand on my way to a meeting.

Mentally, I'm sitting on a hotel balcony watching a tropical sunset.