Saturday, August 23, 2014
     

Back Again

Saturday, August 20, 2011

Warren Buffett, in a recent interview with CNBC, offers one of the best quotes I've heard in all this drama about the debt ceiling:

"I could end the deficit in five minutes," he told Becky Quick. "You just pass a law that says that anytime there is a deficit of more than 3 percent of GDP, all sitting members of Congress are ineligible for re-election."

Sounds about right.

The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

Saturday, August 13, 2011

By BOB URBAN

rurban@tnonline.com

I've quit monitoring my 401-K online, only because I'm afraid to see what I have, or what I no longer have, in my account. In all my 60-plus years, I never remember an economic crisis as tense as the one we are currently experiencing.

Two-a-day practices in pads have been eliminated at camp by all NFL teams and only 14 practices in pads can be held during the regular season. Teams are restricted to one practice in pads per week for the first 11 weeks, then just one practice in pads in three of the final five weeks of the regular season.

Saturday, August 6, 2011

Without readers, this column wouldn't exist. Without readers who submit interesting tidbits, this column wouldn't exist either.

The following was sent by a number of fans this week, so it must be making its way around the internet. But for those of you who haven't been emailed, or those with no computers, here's the story:

In the line at the store, the cashier told an older woman that she should bring her own grocery bags because plastic bags weren't good for the environment.

The woman apologized to him and explained, "We didn't have the green thing back in my day."

Saturday, July 30, 2011

I read somewhere this week that Judge Judy of television fame works five days a month, and makes $45 million a year. Now that's nice work if you can get it.

In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

A recent survey says 80 percent of Americans are unhappy with the way Wahington is handling our nation's economy. My question is, what's wrong with the other 20 percent?

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

Saturday, July 23, 2011

Phone hacking, bribery charges I'm sure glad I'm not working for Rupert Murdock these days. Talk about giving the journalism profession a black eye. This scandal tops them all.

I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.

I, like most Americans, am counting the days until the debt limit deadline, then I'll just kiss my 401-K good bye, or at least a good portion of it. I'm not confident the President and Congress can get this thing settled in time.

There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.

Saturday, July 16, 2011

Long berfore gasoline prices soared to near $4 a gallon, Sunday drives used to be a pleasant undertaking for a summer afternoon.

Along with the scenery, watching for unusual signs was a fun pastime. You would find them on billboards, on church bulletin boards, or, at one time, the famous Burma Shave signs that adorned rural America's roads.

Fortunately, signs haven't gone away, although Sunday afternoon rides have just about been priced out of the business. The following are some offerings sent by a local reader. Hope you enjoy them.

Sign over a Gynecologist's Office:

Saturday, July 9, 2011

Most of us received a bonus this year when July 4th fell on a Monday. It gave us a long weekend. It was so good, in fact, that we wish Congress would consider making Independence Day a permanent Monday holiday, just like Memorial Day and Labor Day.

Aside to the woman reader who called my home last weekend and got my answering machine. Yes, I did know that there was a Twilight Zone Marathon on television over the July 4th weekend. And, yes, I did watch several episodes, between taking boat rides and cooking out on the grill.

Saturday, July 2, 2011

July 4th may be my favorite holiday of the entire year, especially when it falls on a Monday and provides us with a long weekend.

There's something about a birthday party, and when our entire nation celebrates, it's truly special.

The 4th of July's long tradition of picnics and fireworks is looked forward to each year. July 4th also reminds us how far we have come as a country in the more than two centuries we have been a nation.

We have come a long way. How far?

Saturday, June 25, 2011

No. A lexophile isn't a person with some kind of perversion, unless you consider extending your vocabulary as something perverted. A lexophile is a lover of words, someone who knows the dictionary and the meaning of the words included in it.

Word games can be fun, as evidenced by the following list supplied by a loyal reader. It's a clevor play on words that would make any lexophile proud.

1. A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.

2. A will is a dead giveaway.

3. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

4. A backward poet writes inverse.

Saturday, June 18, 2011

By BOB URBAN

rurban@tnonline.com

It happens frequently in this profession known as journalism. We write something, only to re-read it and find out we stated something that has an entirely different meaning. Even seasoned veterans fall into this trap, although not as often as rookies.

But stories aren't the only thing that can be misinterpreted. Below is a collection of signs that have been spotted in various public places that mean to say one thing, but can be interpreted as meaning something else entirely.

I got a chuckle out of them, I'm sure you will also.