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Back Again

Saturday, January 21, 2012

You think English is easy?

Check out these examples sent in by one of my favorite readers.

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce.

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture.

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

Saturday, January 14, 2012

By BOB URBAN

rurban@tnonline.com

Some Interesting Trivia. Believe them or not. They were sent by an avid reader and should give you something to reflect on a winter Saturday morning.

In the 1400s a law was set forth in England that a man was allowed to beat his wife with a stick no thicker than his thumb.

Hence we have 'the rule of thumb'

Many years ago in Scotland, a new game was invented.

It was ruled 'Gentlemen Only ... Ladies Forbidden' ...

and thus, the word GOLF entered into the English language.

Saturday, January 7, 2012

By BOB URBAN

rurban@tnonline.com

Life is evolving so quickly, with the technology changing almost daily. But did you ever step back and think about how low you have actually been on this earth, and the changes that have occured since you were born?

A reader sent this to me. Read it and stay with it the answer is at the end. It should surprise you.It did me.

Here's how it goes:

One evening a grandson was talking to his grandfather about current events.

Saturday, December 17, 2011

By BOB URBAN

rurban@tnonline.com

I told you last week's Army-Navy game was going to be a barn burner. The only thing I could have done without was President Obama ending up in the announcer's booth in what amounted to nothing more than a campaign push. I can remember several presidents attending the game in the past, but that's the first time I remember one going into the booth for some free air time. I also didn't like his campaigning to have the game moved to the Washington D.C. area every year. The Army-Navy game is a Philadelphia tradition, Mr. President. Look it up.

Saturday, December 10, 2011

This holiday message was sent in by a loyal reader who said:

"I love Christmas lights - they remind me of politicians.

"They all hang together, half of them don't work, and the ones that do aren't that bright."

And not to mention, when you put them away after New Year's, they get all tangled up.

Saturday, December 3, 2011

By BOB URBAN

rurban@tnonline.com

Although I like Rep Jerry Knowles personally, I'm not happy that Summit Hill is being moved out of the 122nd Legislative District into his district. For whatever reasons being given, the move just doesn't make any sense.

1. Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to go to the bathroom.

Saturday, November 26, 2011

The freak snowstorm we had a few weeks ago got me to thinking. Actually it got me to shoveling, and while I was grunting and groaning and trying to get my driveway cleaned off, I began reflecting on my younger days.

I hate snow. I despise it more and more every year. Moving to sunny Florida or Arizona seems more appealing every year. But then I think of my family nestled up here in the Northeast, and how much I'd miss them if I moved south, and then I get the nonsense about relocating out of my head.

Saturday, November 19, 2011

The 8-by-10-inch, black and white framed photograph hangs on the wall of my office. It has occupied that space ever since I moved into this office almost a decade ago.

The picture's about 30 years old, taken at a newspaper convention in Hershey. In it is my wife, Mary (looking pretty), myself (boy, I was a lot thinner in those days) and a youthful looking Joe Paterno, the head football coach at Penn State University.

Paterno was the guest speaker at that convention. I was able to corner him long enough to say hello, shake hands with him, and ask him to pose for the picture.

Saturday, November 12, 2011

So bye-bye Miss American Pie

Drove my Chevy to the levee,

But the levee was dry.

And them good old boys were drinkin' whiskey and rye,

Singin' "this'll be the day that I die,

"This'll be the day that I die.

It's been 40 years since singer/songwriter Don McLean immortalized the Chevrolet automobile in his classic song, "American Pie."

Actually American Pie is one of more than 700 songs in which the Chevy is mentioned. No other car even comes close.

Saturday, November 5, 2011

Although my home was only one of three million in the east that lost power during last weekend's snowstorm, I'll never again take having power at the flip of a switch for granted.

Kudos to the PPL workers for getting our power back as quickly as they did. I wouldn't have wanted the headaches they encountered during the past week.

Thanks to readers who continue to supply me with column ammunition.

GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:

1) Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.

2) Wrinkles don't hurt.