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Back Again

Saturday, June 9, 2012

@$:

By Bob urban

burban@tnonline.com

A loyal reader, one of my generation, sent this list along to share with readers.

He opened with a prayer and followed with some wisdom for the ages.

God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference. Now that I'm "older" (but refuse to grow up), here's what I've discovered:

1. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

2. My wild oats have turned into prunes and All Bran.

Saturday, June 2, 2012

By BOB URBAN

rurban@tnonline.com

The roles of mothers have changed since our youth. Today, most mothers hold an outside job in addition to their maternal responsibilities.

But back in our youth, most mothers stayed at home to raise the kids and provide a comfortable, stable household. Dad went to work and Mom ran the household.

Saturday, May 26, 2012

Questions that make you scratch your head while you're contemplating what you're going to do during this long Memorial Day weekend.

Have you ever wondered......

Why do they use sterilized needles for lethal injections?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why did Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose cruel idea was it to put an "s" in the word "lisp"?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Saturday, May 19, 2012

We all think we're much better educated today than our ancestors. Way back then many grandparents and great-grandparents stated that they only had an 8th grade education. Today most of us can boast of a high school education, and many of today's young people advance to the college or trade school ranks.

But, were our ancestors really that uneducated, even the ones who quit school to join the work force following eighth grade.

Could any of us have passed the 8th grade in 1895? I know I would have lots of trouble.

Saturday, May 12, 2012

There are only nine questions.

This is a quiz for people who know everything!

I found out in a hurry that I didn't.

These are not trick questions.

They are straight questions with straight answers.

1. Name the one sport in which neither the spectators nor the participants know the score or the leader until the contest ends.

2. What famous North American landmark is constantly moving backward?

Saturday, May 5, 2012

Everyone over 40 should have a pretty easy time at this exam. If you are under 40 you can claim a handicap.

This is a History Exam for those who don't mind seeing how much they really remember about what went on in their life.

Write the letter of each answer & score at the end.

1. In the 1940s, where were automobile headlight dimmer switches located?

a. On the floor shift knob.

b. On the floor board, to the left of the clutch.

c. Next to the horn.

2. The bottle top of a Royal Crown Cola bottle had holes in it. For what was it used?

Saturday, April 28, 2012

Thanks to the loyal reader who sent this. Take a few minutes and read these touching words from the mouth of babes.

A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, 'What does love mean?'

The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined

See what you think:

'When my grandmother got arthritis , she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore.. So my grandfather does it for her all the time , even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love.' ...Rebecca- age 8

Saturday, April 21, 2012

By BOB URBAN

rurban@tnonline.com

As we prepare for Tuesday's primary elections, I got thinking about how many presidential elections I've been around for. Barack Obama is the 13th commander in chief since I was put on this planet. Franklin D. Roosevelt was the first. In fact, he died on my first birthday, April 12, 1945. I have been eligible to vote for nine presidents. This will be my 13th presidential election.

Saturday, April 14, 2012

By BOB URBAN

rurban@tnonline.com

I don't know about you, but I'm mystified when politicians and government officials start talking about our national debt, and use figures in the billions and even trillions of dollars.

Any number followed by nine zeros is incomprehensible.

But finally someone put it in layman's terms that even I can understand. Here is the national budget explained in simple English. Thank you. Even I can understand this.

- The United States Tax revenue is

$2,170,000,000,000.

- The Federal budget stands at

Saturday, April 7, 2012

By BOB URBAN

rurban@tnonline.com

My good friend, Jack, who lives out of state, emailed me several weeks ago.

He was hurting.

He informed me that he had to put his dog down the day before, and he was in agony over the decision. The pet he had was 12 years old, and had become a bonifide member of the family throughout those years.

But age, and ailments, had caught up to him, and that necessitated Jack to play God, and decide on putting the dog out of his misery. It was a decision he dreaded.