Monday, April 21, 2014
     

Back Again

Saturday, January 23, 2010

By BOB URBAN

rurban@tnonline.com

How many zeros in a billion?

I believe there are nine zeros in a billion. But this doesn't really put the amount into proper perspective. It's a million-million. So what? Just numbers on a sheet of paper.

Saturday, January 16, 2010

I had to laugh out loud when a reader sent me an email (KIDS IN CHURCH, which I'll share with you below). It's funny, but it also reminded me of a time when I was young an aspiring altar boy at St. Mary of the Assumption church in Coaldale.

Saturday, January 9, 2010

Need some direction for the new year? Follow these 22 suggestions sent in by a reader and you can't go wrong.

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me alone.

2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire.

3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

Saturday, January 2, 2010

By BOB URBAN

rurban@tnonline.com

What better way to begin the New Year than with a lesson in life. Most of us have already broken our New Year's resolutions, or will be breaking them soon. The Christmas tree, so elegant and full of the holiday spirit just a few weeks ago, now looks like a chore that has to be dealt with in taking down the decorations, carefully putting them away for next year, and placing the tree out for the trash.

Saturday, December 26, 2009

By BOB URBAN

rurban@tnonline.com

Another Christmas has passed. This one was special as we got to celebrate it with our new grandson, who was born in late August. Of course, he doesn't understand the significance of the Christmas tradition yet. But he reinforced in us, the blessings we have bestowed on us. He is the best gift I have received since the birth of my sons, many years ago.

Another gift I received this year came in an email. The writer asked that I pass it on to as many people as I could, so I'll use this column to achieve that goal.

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Always remember to forget the troubles that pass your way, but never forget the blessings that come each day.

Here's a holiday news nugget for those who will experience "wrap rage" this season …

According to a poll of Pennsylvania adults, about 17 percent of Pennsylvanians experienced an injury or know someone who was injured while opening gifts during past seasons.

Saturday, December 12, 2009

These summary of life lists, passed on to me by a faithful reader of this column, are too good not to share. So, enjoy them.

GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:

1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.

2) When your Mum is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.

3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.

4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.

5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.

6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.

Saturday, December 5, 2009

By BOB URBAN

burban@tnonline.com

Raising children has become a lot more intricate in the past 40 years.

Back then, there was no such thing as recalls.

Today, you can't go a week without some brand of crib or baby-related items being recalled by the manufacturer. It makes you wonder how our kids ever survived their early years.

For instance, just in the last week here are two such recalls:

Saturday, November 28, 2009

@$:

By Bob urban

burban@tnonline.com

It's a good Saturday when there are still leftovers remaining from Thursday's Thanksgiving dinner. Time to dig in again while watching one of the many football games on the tube this weekend.

There are four things that you cannot recover in life:

(1) The Stone..........after it's thrown,

(2) The Word...............after it's said,

(3) The Occasion......after it's missed, and

(4) The Time.............after it's gone.

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Are you a lexophile?

No, no, that's not someone who has to register with police before he moves into a neighborhood.

A lexophile is a lover of lexicology, the science of the derivation and meaning of words.

So, that makes us all lexophiles, considering we all use thousands of words a day while communicating with our fellow human beings.

A loyal reader sent the following list for me to share with readers today. It involves some clever plays on words, which should give all us lexophiles a smile this morning. See if you can come up with some of your own lexicons.